Characters: me, C, L, S, A For background, I’m a sophomore in college and I have been friends with C, L, and S since fall 2023. C was my roommate last year, S is C’s roommate this year. They have a third roommate, A. We’re all F19-20.

This all began when C and L grew distant and I had not seen them in weeks at this point. I could obviously tell something was off and was feeling extremely depressed and isolated from the friend group. The situation came a head when C, L, and A went to a campus event at our that I had previously asked C and L to go to. I obviously felt betrayed because I asked first and they went anyways without me. They have me connected on Life360 with the entire friend group, so I saw that not only did they go to the event, but they were all in C, S, and A’s dorm from 6pm to 12:30am. Later that night, meet up the next day and discuss things.

They explained that they spent the previous night arguing to the point of sobbing/crying with S because S dislikes me so much that she refuses to see my face in the room, which means she is banning C from having me over to hang out. They asked “why” a thousand times but S could not give a single concrete reason. They even got C’s mom on the phone to mediate but not even the grown ass woman could get through to S. In direct quotes, S said she “doesn’t care”.

This came as a huge shock because everyone agrees that I’ve been nothing but kind to S. I have given her Christmas gifts, birthday presents, random gifts, etc. I’ve shared clothes, shoes, and beauty supplies with her. I’ve supported her during hard times. The list goes on. We’re also both women of color at a very predominantly white institution, so I was under the impression that we had an understanding. There is no valid reason for her hatred besides personal prejudices. In my opinion, she is an extremely insecure person and it is definitely jealousy because of how similar (and thus easy to compare/contrast) we are in background and appearance.

There are two things that infuriate me the most about this. The first is that S works overtime to market herself as an activist and an empath, often saying things like “it’s everyone’s first time living 🥺”, “us girls need to support each other 🥺”, and “female friendships are so sacred”. Given her carefully-crafted persona, for her to blatantly admit she has zero empathy for me is extremely telling. C, C’s mom, and L were unable to change her mind about me and I will likely never step foot in her dorm for the rest of the semester. Additionally, S asked C and L not to say a word about this to me, to which they said they could not make any promises, as this situation impacts every party negatively (except for S). C and L want to stay friends with S in the future, which I have no choice but to respect, but what I have an issue with is that they don’t want me to say anything to S, so as to protect her “feelings”. GIVE ME A BREAK. She’s had two years to treat me like dog shit, one text is the least I can do to let her know the feeling is mutual. Before reading the text, for more background, S and I are from the same state and our college is on the opposite coast.

Here’s the text:

Your behavior towards me both recently and in the past two years has been abhorrent and completely disgusting. I have done nothing but spend time, money, and energy in attempts gain your favor as a friend and to be met with such blatant disrespect is a slap in the face. How can a self-proclaimed activist spend so much energy trying to conduct a smear campaign in hopes tear down another woman of color? You market yourself as an empath with a passion for justice, but you are nothing of the sort. Your scheming, plotting, and conspiracy both against me and against your own friends have proven that. You should look long and hard at the stark contrast between your “morals” and your true actions. This friendship is dead to me and it is an embarrassment to be from the same state as you. Btw, your tears aren’t going to work on [C] or [L], so leave them out of this. They may still be your friends, but they are not with you in this matter.

TLDR: AITA for feeling I deserve to say my piece and express my anger in this matter?