I'd like to keep our ages private but we're both F and have been friends since childhood. at first it was me , my bsf that ditched me (call her A) , one other friend that she ditched me for (J) and another girl that we 3 cut off connections with (H).

the thing is , me and H were really close like joined at the hip kind of thing. but even as kids she had been very controlling if who I was friends with and didn't want me being friends with anyone else and she would down right threaten that she would "do something to herself" if I kept talking to some girl. me , A and J eventually cut her off because of this exact same problem and that period of my life lead me to be anxious about forming new friends or getting close with anyone because I had very limited interactions with another kid in our grade. A knew this.

in 2022 when school reopened, me A and J found another friend , S. she's a little introverted and maybe a bit naive with certain things and it naturally brings out my protective instincts, leading me to watch out for her or even take care of her because of certain things, it was almost like I had another sibling to look out for, but in a good way. we both grew really close over the few months and A couldn't digest it and had fought with me and S about it to the point where S cried (she said sorry and they made up after a week). i always reassured that she would always be my no.1 friend and my favourite and I'll always be with her etc. (yk the cheesy stuff we say to reassure friend). but i dont think that's how things were about me. J and I weren't like THAT close close but still got along really well.

last year in Dec, our school was having a big function for its 60th anniversary and we all had taken part in various things. me , J , S and one other friend that we had were hanging out after practice( A wasn't in any dance or activity + was in another city). So we were just laughing and J goes (in a very mean tone like she was repulsed or disgusted) "A never takes part in anything and barely comes to school, and when we tell her about our hang outs and everything she gets pissy" and my immediate response was to laugh and sarcastically say "oh let that moron be" that was supposed to be a joke. Moron. i always call her that when we're with our friends and she goes on and calls me Dumbass or something aswell.

The evening i got home from school, A had bombarded me with texts, calling me a traitor and a lot of things , something along with the lines of " I regret defending you behind your back." Turns out J never told her part and but gladly told mine and added some things to "spice it up" I tried apologizing to explain that i didn't mean it like that and it was only a joke. but since I had "hurt" her so much , she ditched me for J , the same girl she back bitched about to me. i cut off all our contacts and found a better group. A few weeks ago , though a mutual friend i found out that A couldn't digest the fact thay S and were so close and hated S for snatching her bsf though ive treated both the same. I've told her multiple times that I don't like being controlled about who i befriend and who i dont. i got into a argument about it with A before but we sorted that out, and founding out that she resented S and wanted full control of me triggered something inside me.

I just wanted to know that aita or nta because I've been feeling really conflicted over thus and its been bugging me a lot now. i'm sorry if its confusing or something.