I’m looking for advice on sharing a hobby within a relationship (in college). Basically, when I first started dating my girlfriend she was really into climbing. It was something I was interested in but never had initiative to pursue. Eventually, after she brought my climbing a few times, I got a membership and began going more frequently. I was never serious and always prioritized having fun over getting good. But as we both progressed and even lived in Yosemite for a few months, I dedicated climbing to being my biggest hobby/time dedication. After living in Yosemite, she studied abroad for a semester while I stayed at our local campus. Given that our campus has a nice commercial gym 4 blocks away, I found a lot of my normal friends were also climbers. While she was away I began climbing with them a lot more, developing almost daily routines with them. Now she’s returned and is upset at my frequency of climbing with them. Early on to combat this, we established Thursday as our routine climbing day to climbing with eachother, and we’ve held that routine for nearly 3 months now. Given that she’s taking 18 credit hours as a double major at our rigorous college, she finds limited time to climb. I, however, have a much lighter course load and still climb very frequently with my friends. At first I tried to invite her to climb with us, but I found that our belaying and beta bickering made it awkward to climb together with my friends. I decided to invite her less, but we still climb together. In fact, the past three weekends I’ve drove hours to climbing competitions that I feel less than interested in to get the chance to climb more with her. Though I say yes to these things, she is upset when I mention that I’m not that excited to drive her to these things every weekend. She’s mentioned that I now pick her over my friends when it comes to climbing, despite maintain our Thursday routine. She emphasizes that as a woman it’s much harder to develop climbing partners/ friends and that my ‘abandoning’ of her upsets her. She’s enforced that her first priority in climbing is me and that I’m clearly not hers, which has her view our relationship differently. I’ve tried to resonate with her on these things, and I’ve encouraged her to make friends. I even put her in contact with my buddy’s girlfriend since they’re both looking for more women to climb with. My girlfriend claims tho that her social life in climbing is not my business. In my opinion, I want to develop this hobby as my own and be able to exercise it beyond a relationship. But she’s expressed that it feels as if I’m stealing the hobby from her and that I’m disregarding the effort she put into getting me into it. I find it unfair that I must dedicate more of my climbing time towards her when we already have a set day of the week to climb together + weekend trips outdoors/comps. I’m happy to climb without her, but when my friends text me and ask to climb with them I’m more inclined to say yes given that I know me and my girlfriend already have our own climbing time set later in the week. Rarely does she ask me to climb and I say no.

TL/DR: I took up climbing as a hobby and spend time climbing with my friends now than solely with my girlfriend.