I know the title seems hard to justify, but please let me explain the context surrounding the incident. I (16M) and my other brother (19M) always used to play basketball; it's been this way since we were kids. We've never gotten along, partly due to my jealousy of him (he's much taller, has done better in school, and is generally more athletic) but mostly because he always finds a way to one-up me. He has tormented me for being worse than him in nearly all facets; when I get a good grade on a test and tell our parents, he'll find a way to reference his graduating average and tells me things like "Keep it up, champ!" with a laugh and evil smile. I know this sounds like it's bait, but it has really been years of constantly putting me down. He drops the face niceties when my parents aren't around and has gone as far as spitting on me after being me in a 1v1 game of basketball. I brought this behaviour up to my parents when I was younger, but they never treated it seriously. Both of my parents grew up with siblings, and they just say it's a part of the experience and that I need to learn to grow up.

When I've talked about this with my friends, they all ask me why I don't just ignore him or try to cut him out of my life. However, and I wish it truly wasn't like this, I can't. I have a constant desire to beat him; I can never turn down a game of basketball or any sort of opportunity I have to finally be the one who one-ups HIM. He has always been the golden child, but the side of him my parents see feels so distanced from who he is.

Anyways, typical situation, he asks me to 1v1 in basketball, and we go outside onto our driveway; the game is going as it usually does, except this time I end up snagging a small lead. The small leads turned into a victory. He ended up getting in my face, and one thing led to another. I rushed him, grabbed his hand and bent one of his fingers. He expressed a lot of discomfort, and a week later, we found out that I had fractured his finger. I'm grounded right now, but I don't feel guilty. I feel like this happened because no preventative measures were taken. I couldn't even think; all I felt was complete anger during the moment.