Last night I was out with friends (there were 6 of us in total) from the co-living building I live in.

We’ve all been friends for 6+ months except for a girl who recently joined the building and joined us on this night out. I think she’s maybe (22-25F).

The vibes were laughing and jokey, I’m an extroverted guy (22M) and like meeting new people, I get along really well with the people I was out with and we all like each others company .

After we had some food and drinks I asked the new girl what she did for work as I thought of it as a good opportunity to get her involved and for us to learn more about her etc. she replied that she worked in a bar, I responded asking “oh cool, where?” (We live in London, there’s lots of cool bars etc.

She replied saying “look I’ve said I work in a bar I don’t like telling people which bar” obviously the vibes are laughing and jokes so I followed up with “oooh where is it in intrigued?” To which she insta to just started blanking me. I had a drink, we were all getting along and I said “go on where is it, is it like a strip club or something?”

Now I meant absolutely 0 offence by this and suddenly she flipped. She started to get more direct and had a stricter tone and said “look I told you I’m not saying where it is, I’ve set the boundary, why are you now pressuring me?”

At this point I was a bit taken back, I said hey come on I’m only joking, I’m just trying to make conversation and learn a bit more about you. To which she said “but it’s not a normal question is it, when you ask someone what they do for work you don’t say “WHERE DO YOU WORK” after asking them what their job role is” (she really emphasised the where do you work part as though I was asking in a creepy way.

I responded saying that I thought it was a perfectly acceptable question to ask someone especially when getting to know them.

She then started pointing around the table and saying do you know where he works, do you know where she works, do you know where he works. 1 by 1.

I replied yeah, I said he’s a *job role and he does it for *company she’s a *job role and does it for- you get it.

At which point she just went quiet.

I decided to stop this whole thing and talk with one of the people I knew already about their work in a normal manor.

She then butted in out of nowhere and started the whole thing up again, saying that I was so rude to pressure her and press on a boundary she clearly set.

At this point I was baffled, I replied “look I’m sorry, I didn’t know it was a sensitive topic, I was just trying to get to know you” however she kept up the same attitude and flung more insults at me saying “I don’t particularly like you”

At this point I was pissed off I responded “I don’t give a shit if you like me or not, you’re now ruining the evening getting super defensive about something that is a common question that you ask people when getting to know them, I’ve apologised can we leave it” she didn’t want to leave it, she carried it on and on.

I got so pissed off and a Coke I had ordered to the table was just being served to me. I picked it up straight away put it in-front of her and said “I tell you what go serve this coke at your bar as long as you don’t tell anyone where it is” and stormed out.

I was so angry. Walking home shaking literally shaking with anger. I was in disbelief that I could ask something so common and light hearted and gave it result into that.

I instantly messaged my friend who witnessed the whole thing and was sat next to her as I’m not one to be petty I messaged him and said “tell me straight up, am I in the wrong here?”

He responded “yeah you should apologise” which kind of pissed me off more because I feel like he only said that because he was trying to get with her the entire night.

As soon as I got home I sent her a message apologising for my behaviour and for “crossing her boundaries” however all of today she’s not responded to it and the anger is just building as I feel like I shouldn’t even have to apologise here.

Can someone tell me if I’m in the wrong or if I should delete the apology message and move on.