My family has always been very overbearing, volatile, and lowkey childish. The kind that has a “sundays are for the family” rule, and if you don’t go out with them a single Sunday, they will berate for you about it for weeks.

My sister (32 y/o) is the least bad of them, she is just very volatile and yells at you when she is angry, she sometimes struggles with empathy, but she ultimately always tries to apologize and communicate, therefore we’ve had a fairly decent relationship.

My mom (60 y/o) is very conservative and homophobic, I am myself gay and she always makes remarks about how sad she is that I’m gay and that she wishes I could “get closer to god”, I’ve told her to stop those comments and she always ends up complaining about me being “rude” to her with the rest of the family.

My brother (30y/o) is very resentful of things and holds grudges over things that happened over 3 years ago, even when I have tried to genuinely apologize from those things (some being actual asshole moves of mine) he has straight up said “well that’s not enough cause I’m still angry, so I’ll make you feel how I feel”, he is a therapist so he knows how to use other people’s insecurities to hurt them.

I’m the youngest one (19y/o), I am fairly emotional, not to the level of my sister but I do struggle with my impulsiveness. I’m autistic so sometimes I can be blunt with what I say and feel, I am also very sensitive to criticism. Those are things I’ve worked on in therapy, I’ve offered my other family members to also go since they have the means to do so, but they don’t really want to and I respect that.

I’ve learnt to put strict boundaries with them, after a lot of trial and error and MANY arguments with them I had finally managed to make them take a step back and respect my wishes. I have a distant relationship with them, but I’m respectful and I mostly stay on my room.

Or that was the case until recently, when I faced a breakup.

I’ve been all over the place, that has lead me to put aside my boundaries cause I’ve been needing more support than usual from them, it was my longest relationship and someone I deeply loved, I’ve been constantly talking about all the conclusions and analysis I’ve been going on lately since I’m pretty much an open book, and it was going alright until today.

When I was talking about it with my nana (she is cool and I genuinely believe she doesn’t have any issues here), my brother constantly stepped in to give his opinion about why he thought “I was wrong” and how my ex is a “terrible person.” I told him he wasn’t listening to me and that’s not what I needed, he said “so you just want me to listen to you and not give out my opinion?” and I told him “Yes, please.”

He took a seat and started listening, with the most pissed off expression I’ve seen and constantly sighing, so I eventually stopped talking at him and straight up just talked to my nana, he got angry and left saying “well since you don’t care about me and what I think guess I’ll leave”.

An hour or two passed, and I went to him room to apologize for ignoring him, I told him that I just didn’t like that he doesn’t seem to want to actually listen to me, but rather just tell me what to do and judge my ex. He started ranting about how I’m constantly disrespecting him and that his reaction is “what I deserve”, the conversation just went in circles until he asked me to leave his room, I was pissed off but I understood and left.

Then my brother went to my sisters room, and he started talking about how “fucking annoying and disrespectful I am”, that was the stroke that broke the camel’s back and I went to the room and told him “Hey, I live here, can you please not talk shit about me in a place where I can clearly hear you and where you could talk to me directly instead?”

He went BALLISTIC about how I shouldn’t care and he is allowed to do whatever the fuck he wants, my sister for some reason sided with him and told me that I should “take a step back and leave”, I was actually angry at this point so I insisted, eventually my brother came back to his room and locked his door. My sister went to my mom’s bedroom to complain about how I was “acting insane”, I got even angrier and went there and directly told her “I CAN FUCKING HEAR YOU ALL, I’M NOT A BABY GODAMNIT”, my sister closed my moms door in my face and I ended up having a meltdown/bursted into tears because of the whole situation.

My sister eventually left and called me “freak”, I tried talking with my mum but she also constantly interrupted me and said that “I need god and a psychiatrist”, she told me they were all tired of hearing about my ex, so I just straight up told her “if you don’t wanna hear about it then just tell me”, she told me so, and I left to my room.

It’s not the first time where they complain about me in front of me or in the same house where I can hear everything they said, my ex used to tell me that they were clearly the assholes here, but I feel like I am going insane cause everytime I ask them to stop they tell me I am “acting crazy” and that I need to “suck it up”, I truly don’t know what to do.

I’d like to hear your thoughts.