My (24F) sister Rose (30F) is getting married in 6 months. For context, she is very disorganised and to date still hasn’t sent out her invitations.

She, our other sister Lily (28F) and I all went bridesmaid dress shopping two months ago and found a few styles that suit but she hadn’t settled on a colour as two of us bridesmaids have pale skin and two have brown skin. Earlier this week, she put in the group chat that she’s chosen the colours (two of us to wear a light green, two to wear dark) and wants us to choose dresses from this online-only dress shop. She has chosen the colours based on how the two dresses she ordered looked on her friend with light skin and red hair, but hasn’t tried the colours on the rest of us.

I work in healthcare on a mixture of day and night shifts so when I saw the message I didn’t immediately reply, but knew I’d look on the website on my next day off. Immediately on my first day off she rings me and has a go at me for not choosing a dress yet, I told her I was going to look that day. She then asked me to buy new heels, I said I just got some new ones a few months ago, but she doesn’t want me to wear them as they’re cream which is too close to white for her and “nobody wears anything at all white or cream to someone else’s wedding”. She wants me to buy gold shoes instead. Really annoying but fine because it’s her wedding at the end of the day - but her two flower girls are literally wearing white dresses and shoes that our mum bought for them and Rose is fine with that.

I’m then looking at the dresses and I see a style I tried on in person in the dress shop, but it’s not available in the colour she wants for me (which is not a very nice colour, and is not a colour that typically suits me anyway) so I ask if her decision on colours is final and if there is any chance I might be able to try on the style that suited me as it’s available in the darker colour. I said I will wear whatever she wants me to wear as it is her wedding but would it be possible for me to try the other colour because although I have light skin my colouration is very different from her red-haired friend, and as much as it is her wedding it’s also my sister’s wedding and I’d really like to feel confident on the day. She said no, her decision is final.

She has also told Lily she can’t choose the dress she wanted because it’s strapless and her wedding dress is strapless.

We both love and respect her but she’s been so disorganised and is now making panic based decisions that doesn’t take into account how her bridesmaids might feel, and I feel like the level of “no” is getting a bit ridiculous.

I’m not asking her to change her mind on these things but I’m asking her to let us try things as all her decisions are based on how they look on the friend who lives closest to her house. It’s also £10 per dress to try on things from this website and it’s not refundable, so if I try 5 dresses that’s £50 down the drain. I get that it’s her wedding but AITA here?