For context this is my first ever reddit post, but I would really like an outside and non-biased perspective. For some background I (20F) went through a toxic relationship about 3 years ago and once I got out of it I became a lot closer to my brother (22M). I shared my experiences and basically told him my story from when the smaller things started happening to the end of it when I finally got out of it, so he was fully aware of everything I had gone through. My brother recently got into his first relationship (let's call him Scott, 19M). When I first met Scott, my brother and him had been dating for about a month, and I couldn't help but notice my brothers discomfort in his body language (I am a huge observer) but I never thought much of it as this could be the butterflies and nervousness about being in a relationship. I slowly started to feel my brother distancing himself from me and not wanting to eat his favorite foods or not letting himself slouch over (which is a sign of comfortability) in front of Scott. Which was not quite like him but again I excused it with him having fun and spending as much time with Scott as anyone would after getting into a new relationship. Fast forward a month and a half later, I spoke with a mutual friend of my brothers and she also described how she was noticing small things about him changing and becoming distant from her (who happened to be his bestfriend). My family hosted a birthday party for me where I took the time out to pull him aside and this entire time, Scott was hovering over him and I asked my brother if I could speak to him ALONE in which he then asked Scott to go throw something away for him. I asked how he was doing and what had been happening with him, ultimately expressing my concerns for him. He said he was doing fine and how he was just enjoying his new partnership, and I told him I felt relieved to know that and that I was worried but I'm happy he's happy.

A week after the party he invites me and my partner to visit a nearby city for a weekend with him and Scott and stay at an Airbnb. At this point I'm assuming to get to know Scott better, which I was happy to. We all rode together and the drive was fun and no unwanted vibes. Once we settled in I notice Scott started to pick on my partner but I just thought it was friendly chatter and Scott wanting to start building a relationship. Throughout the afternoon they started to drink booze and considering Scott's age I was appalled at how fast he was downing the cans. I still wanted to have a good time so we started making food and playing board games. At some point, my brother got some food crumbs on his face, in which Scott licked it off his face in a way that should have happened PRIVATELY especially because this is really the first night of getting to know someone who happen to be someone important to your partner. I just cringed but laughed it off. I decided to call it a night and go to bed in which my partner followed and we decided to sleep. About two hours later my partner comes into the room and wakes me up, my bf: "hey I went to use the restroom in which I bumped into your brother and Scott and Scott made a weird and uncomfortable comment- he said if we were finally done fucking". I was so confused because I didn't know him and for him to make a comment as if we got along or joked like that. I asked my bf what did he respond with and he said he shooked his head in which he said "don't say that". My bf gets very awkward with situations like that because he isn't comfortable with confrontations. I brushed it off as we were riding together and had a day left. We went out the next day but at this point the picking on my bf got more extreme and started coming for his appearance. I didn't say anything for respect to my bf as he doesn't like drama let alone feeding into it but I was so annoyed as my brother just laughed. Later this night they started drinking again but they were drinking more heavily and I noticed Scott standing behind my brother and pretending to bop his head so hard and I looked at him confused and he started laughing really hard and my brother just said "what?". I couldn't say anything because I really did not want to start any drama as we were hours away from hometown. Once we got home I texted my brother a long paragraph(we don't live together) about what had happened and how I felt so uncomfortable and disrespected, and all he could respond with was "I'm sorry that happened, Ill talk to him". In which my brother was all present for, every time he made a comment, laughed at me for the way I felt about things and my soon wedding, made fun of my partner in ways I don't understand because he never said anything malicious towards him and even pushed me to give him another chance, disrespected me in a way he had no right to because I did not know him well enough and more. I was so angry and had so much emotion built up, I texted his bestfriend who I confided in and expressed this in which she agreed and I admit, I came for Scotts appearance too after she did. I told her how I had seen some things in which can come across toxic like "bopping his head" and then laughing hysterically about it after getting caught, and I wanted to save him because this is how my past relationship started. A victim of an a-user can recognize another a-user almost immediately. She later told my brother everything I had said, but only what I had said and not her messages, and he told me how he never wanted to see me ever again nor hear from me and just because I went through something a- usive doesn't mean everyone else will. I think the last part is where it hit me the most, I was so sad that someone I had shared with and all I wanted to do was look out for him, who I shared millions of memories and grew up tied to the hip could just cut me off like that , after just dating someone for less than 4 months. It's been about 6 months since I last spoke to my brother and this entire situation just keeps circling my mind. I know I made poor choices, but could all he had done was just not let Scott and I interact and I could have the relationship with my brother still?