For preface, I (16F) have a very close relationship with my sister (21F). We live in the same household, and despite being opposites in every way (politically, socially, personality, style, music taste, you name it), we are basically best friends.

The problem here started because last year we both started to explore Christianity. My sister’s boyfriend played a big part in this as he’s a devout believer, but for me, I really just wanted to give religion a chance as I’ve always been pretty confident with my Atheist beliefs, however I didn’t want to entirely reject religion without studying it and considering God to be a possibility. Also, I figured it would be nice for my sister and I to have something we share. However, as we started going to church, and I started bible studies, I realized it just wasn’t right for me. Like, I just didn’t believe any of it, and it all felt like stories to me. It just wasn’t for me, and I was sure then that I was an atheist. I didn’t tell my sister this, though, as I figured she would be disappointed. She started really pestering me to go to church with her and her boyfriend, and I would decline without giving any context.

A few days ago, when we were in the car, she asked me, “So, do you just not want to go to church anymore?” and I responded that I don’t think I’m a Christian. She really freaked out at this, and was asking me what changed, to which I explained that I simply didn’t believe in it, and I did try, but it just wasn’t my belief. She responded that if I didn’t believe, I wasn’t worshipping correctly, and that I needed to better my relationship with God. When I told her that I tried and that it just wasn’t right for me, she said that it didn’t work like that, and it wasn’t just a choice, because you can’t just reject God. At this point, I was struggling to respond because I wanted her to understand my perspective while also being sensitive to her beliefs and not flat out saying she was wrong. She went on to tell me that it wasn’t about religion but was about my relationship with God, and I couldn’t possibly believe there’s just nothing after we die, and that I’m straying away from God and that’s why my life is deteriorating. I asked her what she meant because she herself had recently said I was a lot happier recently. She told me that she thought I was bipolar (she’s bipolar), and that I exhibit the same behaviors she did when she was younger, that I was having a bipolar high and that my mental health is terrible because I have rejected God. I then said, “So, you’re telling me there’s something wrong with me, and it has to do with the fact I’m not a christian?” this enraged her, and she started yelling that I was putting words in her mouth. At this point, I told her to pull over and let me out, to which she refused. She told me that she was worried about me and that she didn’t want me to fall down the wrong path, to which I said “I understand that, but,” when she cut me off and said “No, you don’t understand, so don’t you dare tell me you understand”.

Since then, we haven’t been talking much. I feel like I’m being insensitive to her beliefs, but it’s also very frustrating she won’t accept mine. Is there any way I can mindfully fix this tension? And of course, am I the asshole in this situation? I’m really worried that I am.