I (f22) have been in a long term relationship with my boyfriend m(26). We have been together for 2 years, and live together. (he is a frequent user in this app, which makes me hesitant to post, but I really need some advice.) I have spent all my time with him the past two years. quite literally all the free time I have. We ft any second we are away from each other, and not at work. We have gotten really co dependent, I fear. Recently i’ve been making a lot of friends at work, which has been healing me in a lot of ways. I have always been a “social butterfly” and a”people pleaser”. ( i also struggle with BPD & ADD). Ever since being with him our only social activity is playing video games. At work, I have a lot of co workers that talk about video games. I get really excited cause thats all I really do these days with my boyfriend. Over the 7 months of working full time at my job, I have grown more acquainted with these coworkers (both male and female. most of the guys are in relationships with the females.) Anyways, they pretty much all play the same games I play with my bf. Im always talking about my bf, so they are very aware I’m happily taken.

AITA if I asked my boyfriend if he would be bothered that I make a discord server with all my friends & coworkers that game. In my mind we can all team up and have fun playing different games together.

What happened was, we were playing in my server, and I told the guys that I work with that they can join us whenever to squad up, if we are in a VC. two of my guy friends from work joined one night, and it seemed fine. They all got along, and it felt alright. Another day, my bf and I were playing another game. We were in my server vc again, but with my bfs friend. A different guy joins the VC to play with the three of us. My bf for two full, long rounds of this game was dead silent. It was very akward for us all. I tried to console him immediately in the moment, but he was just visibly upset. He said, “you never told me about this guy..”. My coworker was trying to break the ice and be a team player, but it didn’t seen to make my bf feel better either. My bf put us in a second painful match for some reason (it felt out of spite.) I was shaking with anxiety, and kept asking him what I should do, and that I was sorry. I really did feel bad, but I also feel like he could have done better in the situation too. To be fair, the last time we played he met two guys I didn’t talk to him about on the daily, and I probably should have, I think. I didn’t ever think to talk about them him, to be honest. The girls in my server don’t seem to play much, like I thought they would. I only ever play games with my bf anyways, and never alone with other guys! Im very certain my bf knows that, and my coworkers. I just thought it would be fun to have a full team! I dont have a lot of girl gamer friends either… Me and my bf are quite literally attached at the hip, and he made it seem like the server was no big deal.

After the silent discord call, I impulsively deleted my server I made cause I have more than 3 guys in there, and don’t want to make it worse for my bf. Id rather just give my bf the peace of mind, but deep down I question if he’s being a little toxic potentially. I give my bf what he wants, but now I probably made my friendships akward. Did I do the right thing?

To make matters worse, a week ago I told him about how I had weird dreams about guys I used to date, and what could have been (definitely an impulsive thing). I instantly regretted it, but I felt so guilty about having those dreams. I thought it was the right thing to do in the moment, but realized it wasn’t. Lastly, I went out with my coworkers twice, while my bf happened to have work (we all played basketball together). My bf consented, and knew there were guys and girls there. This was new for us, cause the past two years ive only gone out to hang out with gfs like 4 times, and never with guys there. I know he doesn’t trust me, but am I in the wrong? I’ve been loyal and faithful the past two years. I could imagine I might be jealous too, if roles were reversed. I really care about his mental health, and want to ask for some honest advice. I also want to help my mental health too, and do what I enjoy.

Unfortunately I can’t tell you both sides, and show his pov ofc. Also, this is the first relationship I’ve had that lasted over 2 weeks. I hope this made sense, cause I never post these kind of things. Ill answer any questions, if more context is needed.) TYSM for reading all of this mess!