I (34F) recently discovered something in my husband's (33M) estate plan that has left me feeling unsettled, and I’d appreciate some outside perspectives.

We’ve been married for six years, and my husband has always handled our long-term financial planning. I recently had to review some legal documents as part of a financial process we’re going through, and that’s when I learned about a clause in his will that I wasn’t aware of.

Essentially, if he passes away before me, I will receive monthly payments from a trust he’s set up—but I will not receive a lump sum inheritance or full access to his estate. More importantly, those monthly payments will stop if I enter into any kind of romantic relationship after his passing.

When I brought it up, he said it’s meant to ensure I’m supported but not in a position to support someone else with his money. He framed it as a protective measure, not as something punitive. I understand the logic from a financial planning perspective, but I can’t help feeling like it implies a lack of trust or respect. It feels transactional, like I’m being financially tethered to his memory.

I’ve never been motivated by his money, and I’ve always contributed meaningfully to our life together, both emotionally and financially. This clause makes me question how he views our partnership and what he thinks I “deserve” if he’s gone.

His family thinks it’s a smart, standard move and not something I should take personally. A few of my close friends, however, feel it’s unnecessarily controlling.