I am honestly furious right now and I need to let it out and get some outside opinions.

I am 20 and my boyfriend is 38. I know..whole other story and issue but please can we just skip this for now and please focus on my main issue? We have been together for a while. We met at work, we still work together, and from the very beginning he was extremely jealous whenever I talked to other guys or had male friends. Over time I adjusted to that. I stopped being close with guy friends, became more guarded, and eventually I started feeling jealous too, especially toward certain women. That was never who I was before, but now here we are.

There was one woman in particular who joined our workplace later on, and I always had a weird gut feeling about her. She showed obvious interest in my boyfriend. She would touch his arm, lean against him, laugh extra loud at everything he said, stand right next to him even when other spaces were free, and always came to him with weird, unnecessary questions that she could have asked anyone else, especially someone higher up. It was clear to me and to others too that she was into him.

I brought this up to him multiple times. He always said I was overthinking it or that she did not mean anything by it. But I knew what I saw, and he knew how I felt. She eventually left the job two months ago, and I thought that was the end of it.

Then today, out of nowhere, I noticed that she had gone through and liked several of my TikToks. She still does not follow me back even though I follow her. That already felt weird, like she wanted me to notice her.

I decided to check who she follows, and she only follows about ten people total, just close friends, and suddenly my boyfriend is one of them. No one else from work, not even people she was actually close with. Just him. And I saw that he follows her back.

What really made me upset is that my boyfriend has always been very strict about who he follows on social media. He only follows a few people, mostly male friends or female family. He did not even follow me at first, and it took a long time before he did. So him following her, the one woman who made me feel deeply insecure, who flirted with him in front of me, who is no longer even in our lives, really hurt.

I confronted him and he acted confused, like he did not know what I was talking about. “Where? What do you mean?” That made it feel even worse, like I was crazy for even noticing.

To be clear, this is not just about being jealous. I have spent this entire relationship adjusting myself to meet the standards he set. I gave up things I used to see as totally normal, like having guy friends or being openly social, just to make him feel comfortable and respected. And now he turns around and does something he knows breaks the one boundary that really mattered to me.

I feel like it is a complete lack of respect for my feelings and I am trying not to explode over it. What should I say? What should I text him?

So AITA for being really upset about this?