I’m using a different account and no names since my brother and sister-in-law both have Reddit.

To explain our financial situations, I need to give a little backstory. I (44F) had a successful dental practice, which I sold going on two years ago. (I’m enjoying retirement!) It’s just me and my husband. He’s still working but plans to retire in a few years, so we’re comfortable.

I’ve always wanted kids, but it didn’t happen for us, so I live out my “mom dreams” by being really involved with my nieces and nephews. My brother (46M) and sister-in-law (43F) have three kids: my nieces, ages 10 and 8, and a 2-year-old son. Our younger sister (39F) has a 12-year-old son.

Our younger sister is doing fine financially, but my brother’s family is struggling. They started having kids at a later age (36 and 33), and even though they’d always wanted three kids, I did try to warn them before their second child that there’s many health risks for both the mom and child when having kids past 35, I think it is. Not that I have anything against people who have kids at a “late” age, but I did want to warn them. Plus, they’ve never had great luck financially. Unfortunately, I rubbed them the wrong way. Especially my sister-in-law. (We’ve since talked it out… at least I thought.)

After their second daughter was born, things got tighter financially. And tighter again after my nephew came along because sometime before that, my sister-in-law lost her job.

Long story short, I try to take my nieces and nephews twice a month to give my siblings a break and spend time with the kids. My 10 year old niece has been begging for an iPad. She’s an amazing student and a sweet kid, so I finally decided to get her one. Of course, I asked my brother first, because I know some parents don’t want their kids to have devices at certain ages. He said yes, so I bought it. A newer model so it’ll last her a while, and I set it up for her.

Obviously, I can’t just buy one child something and not the others, so I told my other niece (the 8-year-old) that I would get her one for her 10th birthday, so it would be even. My youngest nephew is too little to understand yet, but the plan was to get him one when he turns 10 as well. My eldest nephew (12) already has a phone, so I told him I’d upgrade him when he turns 13. Fair, right?

Well, when the kids went home Sunday, I got a call from my sister-in-law. She basically accused me of “flashing my money in her face” and buying things they can’t afford. She even said I’ve always been “jealous” (referring to when I warned them about having more kids NINE YEARS AGO, PEOPLE.)

I texted my brother to ask what was going on, since he had approved the iPad, but he hasn’t responded.