It happened on a public server on discord.

It started with me and some other person talking about pronouns, both of us being trans. A guy joins in saying that "he never understood it (importance of pronounse in trans community) and will call people for what they were".

I started asking questions because it looked like a transphobic comment.

I specifically asked if someone is born female and identifies as male, would he refer to that person with he/him pronouns. He said no, because that person was born female.

I said that's disrespectful towards said person because it's not respecting their identity. To that the guy answered with “if he would have to use their preferred pronouns it would be disrespectful towards his own personal views”.

We were both discussing, it was not a heated conversation. Surprisingly both of us were very civil about it.

We went back and forth giving example situations which every time it turned into a "if the person was born this gender then I will use the birth gender pronouns because that's my own preference" from him. All the while he was still respecting our pronouns, using they/them for me and she/her for the other person in the chat.

Once I said that his views are clearly transphobic, as they don't respect the trans person's identity, another person joined in saying I shouldn't call everyone transphobic for views I don't agree with.

Am I the asshole for calling the guy transphobic on a public discord chat?