I (23F) have a “unique” hair color. I put it in quotes because since freshman year, people have debated if I’m blonde or a redhead. I never really cared honestly, its somewhere in the middle and to me it’s not important.

One thing to note is that I’ve never wanted kids. My family and I went through a personal matter where we ended up adopting three of my young cousins when I had just entered middle school. I was a teen and going through a lot of different things at once and developed some deep anger issues that im still currently working through, and my younger cousins(now siblings) definitely were a stressor for me.

That being said, now that im older I of course don’t blame them for anything. We were all in a stressful situation and my issues had more to do with me than with them. That being said, growing up and helping care for all of them made me realize that I may not be a good fit as a parent in the future.

Now here’s where the problem begins: I am 23, and have just graduated college, and throughout highschool and college, I’ve remained single. My parents and grandparents all married straight out of highschool and my brother and my sister-in-law married immediately after college. Only recently did they have my first nephew.

Now I know it’s normal for parents to make comments being like “when will you date??” Or “oh, now it’s your turn. Haha.” But lately it’s gotten weirder.

They started making comments about my hair and how much they want to see little “redhead” grandkids running around. At first I just rolled my eyes, until it started coming up at every family gathering.

My dad would say something like my hair was special and that I needed to see how important it is for me to pass on those genes to the next generation. My mom would always suggest me going to see if I hit it off with some son of a friend of hers and every time I would ask for a photo, just to entertain her. Each guy she suggested would have red hair.

They’d even ignore my complaints when I said that the comments were starting to make me uncomfortable, That I didn’t even want kids, and also that I felt strangely pressured into dating only guys with red hair, which was odd to me.

I even said “what if I want to date a guy who’s a different race than me in the future”, which would mean it might be less likely to have their prized reddish-hair they want, just to show how weird and pushy they were being. They would just reply with a quick “well, it’s your decision obviously but it’d just be a shame.”

I’ve blown up on them a couple of times, basically just saying that I felt like they were talking about me like I was just a set of features they wanted to pick and choose from.

I guess I’m just looking for advice for how to get over their comments or if anyone knows anyways to get them to stop?

I love my family but I also feel this weird pressure to please them, even though it’s against what I want.

They say that I’m being dramatic and that it’s just parent/grandparents talking and that I’m being rude, but it feels more than that.

Any advice?