A couple of months ago I (27f) asked my mom if she would walk me down the aisle when I get married later this year. My mom seemed surprised I would ask her and after thinking it over for a minute she told me she didn't feel comfortable doing it when the tradition is the bride and her father walk down the aisle. I told her I understood. My mom can be traditional about some things and I figured if that was one of them then that was that.

I only asked because my mom raised me and my brother (29m) alone for several years after our dad died when we were 6 and 8 years old and I felt like if I were to walk with any living person it would be her. But I had also debated walking alone before that so when mom said no I decided to proceed with walking alone. My brother's my man of honor so he'll be walking just not walking me down the aisle.

A few weeks go by and my mom asked what I had decided to do when she wasn't walking me down the aisle. I told her I had decided to walk alone. My mom looked taken aback by this and I asked her if that really surprised her. She didn't say yes or no. She changed the subject and I just thought she was maybe having trouble with the non-traditional aspect of that.

But a week after she asked me that she and my stepdad came over to mine and my fiancé's house for dinner and my brother and his wife were there also. My stepdad told me he would like to walk me down the aisle and perform a father-daughter dance at the wedding with me. I told him it was a kind offer but I had decided to walk down the aisle alone and skip all special dances outside of the first dance.

My mom brought up the fact I had asked her and I said yes but she said no and I had chosen to not walk with anyone. My stepdad asked why I could ask my mom but not him. I told him I asked my mom because she has raised me my whole life and after dad died she did an amazing job at helping me through the dark days and she kept a roof over our heads, food in our bellies and provided us with all the love, support and guidance that we needed after such a big loss. He was like that's all well and good but what about me. I told him that I respected him as the man who made my mom happy after she'd been alone for some years. I respect that he was willing to step up and be our new father but that his role was not the same as my mom's and even if he wanted to be he had not become my new dad. My brother spoke up in that moment in support of me and he told the two of them they needed to drop it.

Mom said it seemed very unfair to not give back to my stepdad in some way. That he always played second fiddle to dad in our lives even though dad was already dead when we met stepdad. She said traditionally the bride is given away by her father and dances with her father and my brother asked mom if I was supposed to walk and dance with a photo or were we getting a cutout or did she expect us to dig him up. She told him that was enough and we had another father right there. Alive. Who was desperate to be accepted as one.

My stepdad said he felt like it was a cruel snub against him to ask mom and then decide to walk alone without going to him. My mom said it was just common sense to ask him and not even her. They left soon after and a few more days went by. I talked with my fiancé about it and he assured me I had done nothing wrong. I got the same assurances from my brother and SIL. But my mom and stepdad were quick to tell me I was wrong and mom was upset that I had not reached out after the dinner ordeal to ask her husband to walk me then.

I have known my stepdad since I was 12, he married my mom when I was 13, so even though he was an adult figure when I still lived at home I never saw him as a father figure. He was never dad. I always called him by his name. I don't even feel particularly close to him.

AITA?