I (37F) and my bf (27M) have been together for 2yrs. Now I know it’s a big age gap, but he is extremely mature, although as a shy man and an introvert, he hasn’t lived much, he’s never had a gf, never been drunk or even tried a substance, doesn’t go to bars and has never been to a club. All of this on paper was attractive to me, however sometimes it feels like I’m dating in high school again, there’s no drama, jealousy, or fighting, just a lack of communication and romantic maturity.

I’ve tried to set the bar, I wanted to take turns arranging anniversary celebrations, thought it was a cute idea. But I wanted to go first to show him the romantic experience I’m looking for, while also making him feel loved and special. I hired someone to set up a cute picnic by the water, I brought food and wrote him the sweetest card. He gave me a plant and a little silver necklace about a week later, and not to be one to look a gift horse in the mouth, but it was a very cheap silver necklace that looks nothing like stuff I wear, buuut I wear it every day unless I’m dressing up, and I love it cause he gave it to me. It just feels a bit like what I got from my 12yr old bf back in middle school.

This v-day he gave me a toy for my dogs, very sweet gesture, a cheap box of chocolates that I didn’t like, a rose, and a card he scribbled on quickly in his bedroom before presenting it all to me in a grocery bag, he also couldn’t find a nice restaurant due to the fact he didn’t call around until 3 days prior. The whole thing was lacklustre if I’m being honest.

For his first birthday I celebrated with him, I took him to a very fancy/famous restaurant and a comedy show, with a nice gift. His most recent birthday I took him to a popular tourist destination near us telling him to choose his adventure and the whole day was on me, as well as a fancy Brazilian steakhouse. Also with a nice gift.

For Christmas this year I got him a PS5 and he got me a little hand held vacuum. No card, and just 3 stocking stuffers of random grocery store food, which I guess is better than last year when my stocking was empty. I want to make it clear that we make around the same amount of money only I have a lot more bills than he does as I own pets, a truck, a house, etc. he rents an apartment with a phone plan and internet plan, that’s all his bills. So finically we are similar.

And now for my cheese birthday. I understand what he was going for, I understand he meant well. I love cheese, but not in an obsessive way, I just think it’s delicious and playfully joke that his plate has more cheese than mine. So he takes the day off work on my bday and as always sleeps in, but he comes to the dog park with me in the afternoon, sun was out, beautiful day, and there were no reservations or need to be anywhere by a specific time. Then he tells me we need to be at our first destination in less than 3hrs cause that’s when it closes, and it’s an hour away and I’m not dressed or ready. So I collect the dogs and we scurry home. I’m stressed to the max at this point, cause he also doesn’t drive and seems to be in refusal of getting his license so I have to drive us there as fast and safe as possible, getting there with barely 30 minutes to spare before this mystery store closes.

I was pretty excited though, I love surprises, and I had no idea what this gift I get to pick out for myself was going to be. It was cheese. He took me to a cheese store and told me to fill up the basket with whatever I want. I got about $100 worth of charcuterie products. Then he took me out for sushi.

Obviously I would never break up with someone for getting me a crappy gift. But I’m just feeling like not only do I wear the pants in this relationship, but the effort has significantly died down, if it was ever even there?

Please tell me, AITA??