hey, yall. i'm turning to reddit because this has been eating at me for a while, and i need some outside opinions. this isn’t my first time using the app, but it’s my first post, so bear with me.

TL;DR: i can afford to go away for college like i want to, but my girlfriend is struggling with that and it’ll really affect her.

i (17F) and my girlfriend (18F) have been together for a little over a year. we got together during our junior/senior years respectively. she’s sweet, brilliant, and we’re honestly really good together. we rarely argue, and when we disagree, we work through it. i’d say we’re that annoying cute couple sometimes lol.

my girlfriend deals with ongoing mental health struggles. she was open about it early on, so i knew what i was getting into. i’ve learned how to support her the best i can. lately it’s been tough because we haven’t been able to see each other much (my home situation makes it hard), and it’s taken a toll on both of us—especially her. she’s said she feels really attached and even codependent on me. i’ve been trying to be there for her, but she’s really hurting.

as i said, she’s a freshman in college now at a school close to home. it wasn’t her first choice, but she had to settle because of financial issues. she’s not super happy there, but she’s pushing through. i’m in my senior year of high school and have been applying to colleges. most of the schools i got into are far from home (upstate: from 1-7 hours away). i got into the school she goes to as well, but i don’t really have a desire to attend them (i wouldn’t mind if i had to). my family’s in a decent spot financially, so i’m fortunate enough to have more options.

the issue is that she really doesn’t want me to leave. every time we talk about me going away, she gets upset and says it would devastate her. she says she’s supportive of whatever i choose, but i know she’s struggling with the idea. she’s hinted (and flat out said) that she doesn’t know if she could handle the distance, mentally or emotionally. i get it, and it’s not her fault. she just doesn’t want to lose me or deal with being apart more than we already are.

on my end, i don’t want to hurt her, but i also don’t want to sacrifice my goals, especially when i did my best to get into these schools. if the roles were reversed, i know i’d be devastated too, but i wouldn’t want to stop her from going after what’s best for her (or express that). i know she’d never want to break up (and i don’t either), but distance is something she’s always been really against, and it’s clearly something she’s struggling with already.

so reddit, aita? what can i (or should i) do?