I (18M) am a polyamorous gay man, with a bf (20M) and an Ex-bf (18M). There was a lot of drama behind what happened during our relationship, but to make a long story short, it was found out that Ex-BF was cheating (Lying about his relationship status to another partner we did not know about) and also had SA'd my BF (Currently being resolved through legal matters i will not get into).

Regardless, when I found out I about this I was undoubtedly livid. I will not lie that emotions did not drive me at the time, but a few key things happened.

1. I banned him from a discord server that my bf made with a decent amount of our friends in it, both online and irl.
2. I asked an owner of another server I was in to ban him from said server, as I was uncomfortable with him being there as that was another server that I frequently talked in.
3. I made a quick announcement explaining that Ex-BF was banned from the first server. I did not get into the details, rather just saying that they did something bad and to not try and accept.

I will concede that the third decision was made irrationally, and I would have done differently now. It wasn't made with the intention to have people harrass him, nor was it made as a form of revenge. I just felt it was the quickest and easiest way of giving a reason, but now it has led to a further mess.

The reason I am making this post, is because my BF believes that I went too far and ruining his social life wasn't needed, and that this was a personal matter. I am of the belief that ex-bf's friends should know what happened and be able to choose whether they want to stay friends with them. My bf has called this "cruel' and "heartless" and I'm unsure what to think here.

I can give more details if needed, but AITA?