Hi,

I had a boyfriend (I’m gay) who I suspected that he cheated on me, he lied about being HIV positive, would not care about my feelings, would use me for sex, called me insufferable, was inconsistent and sketchy, and manipulated me. Just secretive and weird. Probably a narcissist. There’s even more to the story but I don’t want to spend my time typing all of it and rehashing how bad I felt in that relationship.

Anyway, I shared this entire journey with a friend (he is also gay) and he was there through some of these problems with my ex and my break up. He was there when my ex would try to get me to have sex with him after he broke up with me, etc. This friend never even met my ex and doesn’t even live in the same city. No friends in common at all. He only knows who he is and that he exists because of me.

I found out one day he was following him on Instagram and I told him I was hurt and that it was extremely weird and inappropriate and he only deflected and defended himself and told me that he wasn’t doing anything wrong and that I was crazy for being upset. I saw his true colors and how little he respected me and how socially stunted he must be to think that’s normal. He really try to convinced me that it was considered normal and I was overreacting. I blocked him.

Later, I found out he also reached out to my ex after I blocked him.

Regardless of the intentions, I am extremely hurt by this and I feel like this crosses basic social and friendship boundaries. I cannot trust this person anymore. I feel like it was betraying me in a sense.

My friend keeps trying to reach out just to tell me that he doesn’t think it’s a big deal and that I should forgive him and be his friend. He told me that maybe I’ll just change my mind and talk to him again.

He called me an asshole because I didn’t fall for it. He played the victim and acted like I was a bad person for treating him like that over something so unimportant. He said “it’s not like I murder your family”.

Am I overreacting for cutting him out of my life and not letting him manipulate me into thinking this is normal?

Thank you.