My (31F) friends (late 20s, early 30s) and I plan a trip once a year where we all go out somewhere for a long weekend together. This year it'll be combined with my bachelorette party. It's 10 girls, we've known each other since we were kids, and went to different colleges and ended up in different parts of the country now.

We've done this almost every year minus the COVID year, and have been to Austin, Nashville, Big Sky, Sedona, and more and made so many memories.

I am a recovering alcoholic now sober for years and my friends have all been there on that journey with me. It's a big part of why we're so close. I'm okay being around alcohol, I just don't drink. So we can go out to brunch or dinner or even a bar after and they can get drinks, and they're cool with me not drinking. It's never been a problem.

This year we're going to Banff and we have one friend who for months in the planning process was mad that we aren't going crazier. The girls get a ton of wine and make mixed drinks and I'm totally cool with that and it's really never been an issue. But she wants more this year and says it's supposed to be a bach party why are we taking it easy.

Like 1) we're all like 30 now and collectively are cool with it, and 2) it's MY bachelorette party and I'm cool with it being tamer. My friends have NEVER had a problem with this, and most have called me since saying they swear they're fine with a little wine and some cocktails and don't need more or want anything wild since we'll be doing a lot of outdoor stuff.

So we cut her out and let her know that it just didn't match the vibe we were going for and now she's messaging everyone individually saying that my fiance is boring me down and that why accommodate me for this trip when after I get married I'm just going to drift away anyway (other girls are married already and haven't).

And now I'm second guessing if I just let it be, because I trust myself not to partake, and if she and whoever else want to have a little more of a party, they can?

On a side note, she's also mad that I'm not paying for the trip. Like hello, I still live with my parents and am an administrative assistant, my fiance is very well off, but I'm not asking him to pay for a dozen girls to go to Canada for a week.