I (19F) have been dating my boyfriend (19m) for 6 years. Along the way through our relationship, we became friends with a mutual friend (20 F). She isn’t the nicest person, and many people didn’t like her because she was rude and would stir up drama. We only become friends with her because we did high school band together and we were really the only people who would talk to her, so she took it as a us being “Best Friends”.

At the beginning we didn't have problems with her joining us to go out to like events or other outings. But slowly as time went on things began to become different. She slowly started implementing herself a little too much in the middle of our relationship. She would get annoyed when my boyfriend showed me affection, or when we would want to go on our little outings. When we graduated from high school, I thought the friendship would slowly drift off into nothing but a week later she started asking if she could come with us to breakfast or dinner dates. I didn’t want to be rude so I would let her.

Most of summer I wanted to hangout with family and friends before I left for college. For my birthday I had planned a lake day for my family and boyfriend just so we could have a day where we could hang out and have fun. My boyfriend and I had posted a picture of us at the lake on social media and she had commented why we didn’t invite her to come with us because she thought she was family. I was kind of lost because most of summer we had not talked nor hung out. I apologized and kind of just left it at that. When I moved into college, my boyfriend had posted a picture of me and him hugging goodbye before he left, and she had also commented why she wasn’t invited. I explained I just wanted it to be him and my family because they have been there for longer than she has so it was important for me to just be them. She got upset and didn’t talk to me much after that. She would talk to me every once in a while and would travel to see me while at college and we were on good terms.

While traveling back for the holidays I had called my boyfriend to ask if it was okay if I stopped by to see him and his family, he sounded kind of off when I was talking to him on the phone and then I heard his mom ask if it was me on the phone. I asked if he was okay, he responded with “Mom, are you okay? (Friend’s name) are you okay?”. I was thrown off because why did she call my boyfriend and not her parents or siblings, she had always talked about she had a good relationship with her family. He said it was okay for me to come over but to just wait in the car and he would come right out. When I got to his house he was visibly upset, and I asked him what was wrong. He said that (friends name) was in the house. He explained that she had called him from work crying because she was having a hard time at work and asked if he could go pick her up. I got upset with him because why would he go and pick her up but he explained that no one could pick her up and he didn’t want to leave her there. I said okay well she has to go home. I walked into his house and she was happy and didn’t look upset. She asked me and my boyfriend that we should go and get some food because she was hungry. I said, “No, we have all eaten already but that she should go home. We ended up taking her home right after that. Ever since then I was thrown off by that event. She got upset that we didn’t invite her to my boyfriends family Christmas party. We explained that she was not family and that she would be uncomfortable because she didn’t know anybody. Unfortunately, at that event, I got the news that my grandfather had passed away. I was distraught and didn’t really mention the news to anyone other than my boyfriend and family because it was a hard topic to talk about. We didn’t really hang out with her till about 2 months later and she had brought up the topic of grandparents and I mentioned that my grandfather has passed away 2 month prior and she got angry at me for not telling her because she thought she was my best friend. I had a moment of realization that a friend shouldn’t really get mad at their “best friend" for not telling them someone had died. I took that as my last straw. I texted her that I just couldn’t be friends with her because I didn’t really see myself as her friend anymore. She was pissed that I would end a “6-7 year” friendship without a reason or explaining myself. Am I the asshole for ending that friendship?