Sorry if the title is difficult to follow but let me explain.

I (26f) became friends with Claire (26f) when we were 5. She was definitely my longest and my best friend for many years. We went to college together and that's when Dean (28m) came into our lives. I had a huge crush on Dean but I was too shy to say anything about it to him. He was always super friendly and went out of his way to spend time with me back then so I believed he liked me back. But he never asked me out and when Claire and I were 21 he actually asked her out instead.

Claire and I talked about it and I told her if she was interested she should say yes. I wasn't mad. I told her at the time I had been too afraid to ask and clearly it was her Dean liked. I made it 100% clear there were zero hard feelings and after a few weeks my crush on Dean was gone and I was happy for the two of them. Dean and I didn't spend as much time together but Claire and I did and we remained very tight.

Claire and Dean appeared very solid for all this time and they even got engaged last year. I didn't have the same luck with guys for a while. But I met my boyfriend two years ago and we've been long distance for most of that time but that changed recently. We have a really good thing together and I'm extremely happy with him.

Claire had met my boyfriend before. Dean never had. After Dean met my boyfriend Claire told me Dean was acting off. I asked if she'd spoken to him about it and she told me he blew off her concerns about it. She vented to me about that and asked for my help so I told her communicating was always the best thing. He told her he'd had a bad week at work and that's why he was off. Then he said he'd take some down time for just himself when she was hanging out with me or me and my boyfriend. Dean's mood got worse and Claire vented to me some more. She asked me if it was possible Dean thought she was cheating. I told her it was possible. She decided to talk to Dean again and she told me he had acted surprised that she thought he was thinking of something like that and he told her his bad mood was down to work stress still.

Eventually Claire told me they had worked through everything and came up with the idea that the four of us should go on a double date. I asked my boyfriend, he was down for that, so three weeks ago the four of us went on a double date. It was weird from the start and my boyfriend and I noticed immediately. Dean's normally very personable but he was off with my boyfriend. Not outright hostile but not friendly like he typically is.

We all went back to Claire and Dean's place and Claire pulled me aside to talk about how great she thought it went and before I could say anything else she brought up how glad she was that my old crush on Dean hadn't come between us and we could enjoy stuff like double dates with each other and our partners.

Dean practically ran into the room after she mentioned the crush and asked Claire what she meant about me having a crush on him. Claire said it was nothing and I used to like him before they started dating. From there it went from bad to worse. He was clearly angry and spoke to her like shit asking why the fuck she never told him and what the fuck was wrong with her. I defended Claire and told him to knock it off. Dean ignored me and kept almost yelling at Claire about the fact she never told him I used to have a crush on him.

Then Claire turned on me and all of a sudden she was accusing me of wanting this and setting it up. She implied I did something with Dean and never told her and that I had faked my boyfriend to try and make all of this happen. She started calling me a snake and how she just knew I had been out to sabotage the relationship all along. My boyfriend came into the room and asked if I wanted to go. I said yes. I told Claire if she could think that way about me when I had just defended her then I didn't know why we were friends. Claire called me a bunch of names and again accused me of wanting this. My boyfriend rolled his eyes at her which she took as proof, why I have ZERO idea. Then suddenly Dean was saying he'd really liked me and not her back in our college days and in Claire's eyes this was my fault. I left with my boyfriend because both Claire and Dean were yelling. Her at me and him at her.

Claire sent me dozens of texts within the next two days saying all the same stuff as she had at her house. I reached out and asked why she was ever friends with me if she thought the worst of me. A few more days passed and about two weeks ago she reached out to apologize and say she realized it was all Dean and how she didn't really mean what she said. She was just mad. She knew I didn't like Dean in that way anymore and he was the one who had lied, etc. I told her it didn't excuse her thinking the worst of me and throwing insults at me for days. I told she took Dean's reaction and then Dean's words out on me and I couldn't be friends with her when that's her default reaction to something like that.

She has been begging and pleading with me through texts and DMs ever since. She left a few voice notes too because I don't answer her calls. She keeps saying our friendship can't end over this and she had a bad reaction but she regrets it. I think it runs way deeper than that given she continued to do this for days. We're supposed to be adults and it reminded me of being back in high school and how quick teens can be to overreact. Not that adults never do. But I was always honest and loyal to Claire and for things to go down the way they did has caused irreparable harm to the friendship in my opinion.

But AITA for ending our friendship over this?