This is going to be very long, its actually 2 stories really. Apologies in advance and thank you for reading all the way through the end. Love you Charlotte! Honestly watching your chanel over the years kind of was the breakthrough for me in regards to my family, sadly.

To start of, I am Romanian (28 F) and British as well. Lived abroad for some time. Come from quite a difficult childhood which I am still unpacking in therapy:(. I am married to the love of my life (31 M), let's call him Mike, and we have a precious 9 month old daughter, we will call her Grace. A month ago, my daughter had an accident, which could have ended extremely badly. While she was at my parents house, with my dad, she was asleep in the stroller on the terrace ( for context, my parents have floor to ceiling windows and we usually leave the stroller outside as we can see it from the inside of the house). On this day we received alerts on our phones of really strong winds. Their terrace is on the 2nd floor of the house and as their house is not completely finished, the terrace has no railing yet. Long story short, the stroller was pushed by the wind off the terrace from 3 meters height with Grace in it. Luckily she was strapped in and in a winter stroller suit which protected her during the fall. My dad called me frantically that she hit her head. Told him to call an ambulance and try and keep her awake and me and hubby drove as fast as humanly possible to get to our daughter. ( LONGEST DRIVE OF MY LIFE). We arrived before the ambulance. Luckily, she seemed fine, responsive, the ambulance got there and we went to the hospital. After a full body and head CT(she was sedated) it was revealed that she had a brain bleed and hematoma, and the next 24-48 hours were critical. The doctors wanted to repeat the head CT in 24 hours to make sure that the brain bleed did not extend. Both my sisters and mom came to the hospital and my best friend, who is also my neighbour. I was frozen, I could not believe this happened, I was trying to keep it together, and think short term, like until the next head CT as otherwise I would spiral and I needed to be there for my baby. My mom was literally on the floor dramatically crying and calling everybody, and my middle sister, we will call her Alice, was having an out loud panic attack with worst case scenarios of what can happen to my baby. So absolutely zero support from them. If it weren't for my older sister, Ana, and my BF , Kate, I could not have kept it so together that day. We come from a religious family, so we asked prayer groups from church to pray for our baby. We also did not blame my dad at all for this (he was with Grace at the moment of the accident), as this could have happened right next to us, and it was a freak accident. We previously had a talk with our parents about putting railing on the terrace for my sisters older kids, never in a million years did we think of this scenario happening. Anyway, my mom went to instantly blaming my dad about all of this, to the point where my older sister gave her a pill to calm down, as she kept saying she cannot go home and see my dad. The whole situation kind of became about her. Then the next day my hubby's parents came and made a comment to my dad, something along the lines of what was he thinking. So they blamed my dad too. I only learned about this comment later, my hubby was wise not to disclose this to me at the time as he knew I would go nuclear on their ass. But I digress.

After the 2nd head CT my baby was fine. The brain bleed shrunk and we got discharged. Well not before my baby picking up covid from the hospital as well. But luckily it behaved like a common cold and passed in a few days. We are now very well, fully recovered, supervised by neuro, and as long as she does not hit her head again we are in the clear. After this whole ordeal, I started to analize our whole family and realise we have no support in most of them which is extremely hearbreaking. Me and Mike had a talk with his parents to let them know that we are dissapointed with their reaction and did not feel supported by them through all of this, this was mainly directed at his dad as he said the comment to my dad. Of course, he went victim mode and said how can we say that he did not support us? To which I was kind of done and realised there is no point in discussing further. I honestly blame her more, as she builds a shrine to him daily and never lets him know when he is wrong, so she kind of created this monster. Sadly he is just a third wheel all the time, nobody gets along with him as he is very difficult. He missed most of my hubbys childhood working in another city ( 12 years) and Mike and his sister were mainly raised by his mom. They barely have a relationship with their dad beyond a diplomatic conversation. However I am still very upset about the fact that he darred to talk to my dad that way and I have no idea how to get over it, my mother in law kind of defends him, but says she also understands our perspective.

So there is that.... and now, onto the main course, my middle sister, Alice. She has always been.... well. Special, the kind of special that would respond well to medication. Co dependent, needy, attention whore type. Since we were children, even though I am 3 years younger than her, I have been her constant emotional support. She needed validation in everything, from what to wear to how to talk to a boy. It was exhausting. I kind of always found excuses for her as she is a softer character and thought it was her coping mechanism of dealing with our difficult childhood. However as she got older it got worse. She was always selfish, not sharing anything with me, she used to even hid chocolate so she did not have to share with me. whereas I shared everything with her. She took my clothes often, although I could not borrow hers and so on. My mom tried different ways of getting her to share more, but it did not stick. She offered her more attention, new clothes, I always got the hand me downs, etc. Somewhere along the way, Alice realised she can manipulate people into always helping her and playing the victim. My mom is a huge part of the problem as she always comes to her rescue. Alice is 9 months pregnant now, due to give birth anytime now , to her second baby. Her husband, Pete, just had knee surgery last week. Amazing timing... oh, and they have a toddler. You see where this is going. She obvs asked for our help in setting up for the baby room... when me and my mom got to her house, her whole house was a mess. baby room not set, baby crib not bought... nothing done. To be clear, she had 9 months to prep for this, but she left it until now, so we would do it. I helped for an afternoon, went home and vented to hubby about her lack of organisation and how she always does this. She did the exact same thing when she had her first baby, luckily for me, I was living abroad at that time but my mom bailed her out. The worst part is that she does not seem appreciative of the help. She feels entitled to it almost. She says she appreciates it, and how badly she feels about asking us for help but then goes and asks for more. And I think when it comes to her I have trouble setting boundaries. I am very well with boundaries in general, but she gets to me in a way.... and by the time I realise I am taken for a fool, its too late and I am pissed. For instance now, it started with me cooking for them 2 times a week, which I have no problem doing, as I cook for us, so I just double everything and I am a great cook:). Then she asked me to babysit her toddler for a bit, while I also have my 9 month old baby to care for, that mind you, just had an accident, but my sister already forgot about that it seems. Then to get her some groceries, then to install her crib, and then and then and then. Don't get me wrong, I love helping people, acts of service is my main love language, but with her it always seems to get taken too far. Like you lend a finger and before you realise she takes your whole hand kind of thing. Its exhausting and I am sick of it. However, adressing it does not seem to work, If I bring it up that this should have been planned ahead and its poor organising she delusionally says that she is very organised:)). Its like she is on another planet honestly. She does not plan for shit and then it becomes everyone elses problem.... to the point where I am now faking a cold to get out of helping her. ( my therapist's idea:)), she says that I should have a list of excuses when I feel I am being taken advantage of from now on). The most hearbreaking thing about all of this is that I am my mom's and my sister's support constantly, however when I needed them, I had no support. I want to set better boundaries, without cutting contact and breaking up our family, as generally when we all meet we have a good time and the kids get along so well. So, what would you do? How would you handle this mess? Hope this all makes sense, there are a loooot more details, but tried to keep it as short as possible. Sorry also if I misspelled as English is my 2nd language:)

I accept my judgement :)