I’ve never used Reddit before but I need advice. I (27F) live with two best friends, Riley (27F) and Morgan (29F). Riley and I have been best friends since we were 11, and we’ve lived together since 2019. We’ve had a strong friendship for years, but lately it’s been feeling one-sided and painful, and I’m struggling with how to feel about it.

In 2022, I briefly dated a guy in our friend group. we’ll call him Trevor. We were friends for 2 1/2 years before dating, and after our 2 month long relationship ended, I asked him not to date or hook up with anyone else in our friend group. It wasn’t about possessiveness, because our relationship was not that serious, it was more about preserving group dynamics, and more specifically, I had a strong gut feeling about one person in particular: Sarah.

Back in 2020, Trevor was living with Sarah and her long-term boyfriend, Kyle. While living together, Trevor and Sarah hooked up in a park, and then made out on my couch. Sarah told Kyle she cheated on him and Kyle forgave her. Trevor moved out shortly after, but after a few failed housing situations, Kyle and Sarah eventually let Trevor move back in with them in 2022.

Fast forward to a February 2023, while Trevor was still living with Kyle and Sarah, they both came to my house. I was already in an emotionally dark place that day due to some serious family stuff. I walked into the living room to see Trevor and Sarah making out on my couch. Later, Tyler was passed out drunk still cuddling with Sarah, I made direct eye contact with her and she just stared me down and said nothing as I walked back into the room. I probably should’ve said something or kicked them out, but I was so emotionally distraught that I just couldn’t be bothered plus they were both drunk and I wanted to make sure they got home safe even if I didn’t like them at that point I don’t want anyone to get hurt.

The next morning, once Trevor sobered up, I set a firm boundary: I didn’t want him or Sarah coming to the house anymore. Morgan and Riley both agreed at the time.

Morgan, immediately cut them off. She told me she didn’t want to associate with people who could hurt me so deeply. Since then, she hasn’t spoken to either of them.

Riley, on the other hand, is still extremely close to Trevor and Sarah. She continues to be best friends with them and regularly hangs out with them at their house. About six months after I initially set the boundary, I told Riley it was okay if Trevor and Sarah came over again. I said I’d just hang out in my room and avoid them. I didn’t want to be controlling and wanted Sarah to have support in everything they do in life because they are good friends to her even though they weren’t to me.

But ever since then, Trevor and Sarah only come over when I’m gone, because Riley plans it that way. When I was in Oregon earlier this year, Morgan called me and let me know Riley had invited them over again. Morgan was upset, and told me she felt like Riley wasn’t being a good friend to me. I agreed.

At this point in time, Trevor and Sarah are basically dead to me. I don’t want to see them, talk about them, or even be reminded they exist. So I understand why Riley doesn’t tell me when they’re come around, but that doesn’t make it feel any less hurtful.

I’ve told Riley how I feel: that it hurts to see her so close with people who treated me that way, that I feel like she chooses them over me, and that our friendship doesn’t feel mutual anymore. I told them that I feel that I’m always the one initiating time together, and even when I do, I usually get told no. Despite living together, I barely see her anymore. It feels isolating and disappointing, especially given how deep our history goes.

Now here’s my dilemma: I’m moving to a foreign country within the next 10 months. My rent is cheap and I’m a 2 minute walk from work so I’m not going to move somewhere else in the US. A part of me wants to just keep the peace until then. However another part of me feels like I’m betraying myself by letting this slide. I don’t know whether I should confront it again, try to preserve the friendship, or emotionally check out and let it fade once I move. I don’t want to lose a life long friend and at this point it isn’t even about Trevor and Sarah, but that I feel a lack of reciprocity in the relationship that I’ve already communicated multiple times.

So, Reddit… AITA for feeling hurt and distant from Riley? What would you do in my shoes?