I (28F) have known my best friend (27F) for almost 8 years. We’re complete opposites. I’m bubbly, loud, and easily make friends. She’s more reserved and has a harder time connecting with people. I guess opposites attract, because somehow, we just work.

We met at university. At first, we didn’t really connect, but over time we went from classmates to close friends. I didn’t initially consider her a best friend because it didn’t really feel like that at first. But eventually I got used to having her around and settled into it.

She’s always mainly confided in me, since she doesn’t really have other friends. I have a few close ones, so I didn’t always lean on her emotionally, not because I didn’t care, but because she doesn’t always “get” me. I come from a big, poor family. She’s an only child from a well-off, sheltered background. Still, she’s a great listener and we’ve had lots of fun together.

Once we graduated and got into the workforce, our contact faded a bit. We’d meet up for coffee or lunch now and then, and mostly kept in touch by phone. Nothing too regular, but I didn’t mind…life gets busy. Working 40 hours a week is no joke.

Three years ago, I moved to another country (still in Europe), about 2.5 hours by train or 1.5 by car from where I used to live. All of my other friends have visited me at least once. She never has. But whenever I visit my hometown and don’t make time to see her specifically, she gets upset. And she always expects me to travel all the way to her side, which adds about an hour to my trip. After the fourth time of doing that, I decided I was done going the extra mile… literally… unless she’d meet me halfway. She never has. I’ve accepted that that’s just the level of effort she’s willing to give.

Fast forward: last year she got engaged. I was so excited for her. She had a small city hall wedding, since her traditional wedding would take place overseas. I wasn’t invited to the city hall part because she only invited a handful of people and didn’t want to pay extra. I get it. Still, I wanted her to feel special, so I threw her a mini surprise bachelorette party.

Now, I’m not rich. I live paycheck to paycheck and sometimes don’t know how I’ll make ends meet. But I told myself: she’s only getting married once. She deserves the world.

I planned a private spa day for just the two of us, complete with pool, jacuzzi, lunch with fruit, snacks, bread, hummus, tapenade, cocktails — the works. She loves luxury (some might say materialistic, but I see it as high standards). I asked her if there were any other friends she’d like to include. She gave me numbers of two coworkers she talks to daily. I also invited them, to the spa but they declined due to the cost…fair enough. They decided to join us after the spa.

I also bought her a gift: a gold charm bracelet from a specific (for me expensive) brand that allows you to add charms over time. I even got her two charms to start with, both with personal meaning. When I gave it to her, she seemed happy and thanked me, saying her husband would get tired of her buying charms everywhere. But she didn’t try it on or check if it fit. I offered to help her figure out how to open it, and she just said she’d do it at home. I didn’t think much of it in the moment.

After the spa, I surprised her with a high cocktail at a cocktail bar, where we were joined by the two coworkers. On the way there, she told me how much she dislikes one of them (let’s call her Melissa). She said Melissa was annoying, attention-seeking, “She has a higher degree than her but is still so stupid at work,” etc. I was shocked; why give me her number then? She also said she couldn’t be herself around them and that I’d see a “different side” of her. That made me feel bad. I just wanted her to feel special. I just wanted it to be a day she would cherish forever.

But once we got to the bar… yikes. She wasn’t kidding. She became someone I didn’t recognize. The three of them sat there gossiping the entire time, saying nasty things about coworkers; calling people ugly, sl*ts, you name it. I tried changing the subject a few times, but eventually I just gave up and sipped my drink.

Later that night, her husband picked us up. He dropped the girls off at the station and offered to drive me home to thank me for planning everything (which I deeply appreciated). As soon as the girls left, my best friend said, “Can you believe they didn’t bring a gift? How dare they show up empty-handed.” Even her husband chimed in like it was some kind of crime.

A few days later, I asked if she had tried on the bracelet — I needed to know if it fit in case I had to return it and get a different size. She said she hadn’t tried it yet, but would do so when she traveled and could exchange it if needed. That was 6 months ago. She’s never mentioned the bracelet again. Never worn it (as far as I know). Just… nothing.

So, Reddit… AITA for feeling some type of way about this all.