Me (F17) and my friend (M17) (call him Ben) were at our mutual friends house (M17) (call him Mike) with two more people. Ben has a crush on me since last year and all of us know that but he actually told nobody, he just couldn't hide it. Mike was always msking him shoot his shot even tho he knew i didnt like him back, and the other friend was always making fun of him. Mike suggested we play truth and dare and Ben denied but the rest of us played. Other friend (that makes fun of him) asked me for the truth if i would ever be with ben in a relationship. He was really annoying so i sad "Yes!" SARCASTICALLY just to make him hear what he wanted. I thought it was obvious sarcasm bc everybody laughed. Two other friends decuded to leave and Mike went with them downstairs, Ben and I were left alone and i thought nothing of it bc i thought he figured it was kind of a joke. He then said we needed to talk and asked what I meant by that. I panicked a little and didnt know what to say to not hurt his feelings:"oh it was a joke i would never be with you", and to not have to lie even more saying that I like him and having to be with him. I fucked up everything and said:" i mean i would be with you BUT we could never be together you know, im just a bad persone and not for you, also we are in the same grade..." he said that i can change and all that stuff but at the end said we needed to go out alone and talk about it more, I agreed.

We went out as soon as possible and i decided to tell him what really went on. When we met up and for the first hour and a half or so he didnt say a word about that thing but talked about everything else. We suddenly went silent and i grabbed that moment and said:" you know, that thing at Mikes house was all in spite of the other guy, I know i fucked up im sorry" he was silent and asked why didnt i tell him immediately after and i explained i panicked. I could tell he was hurt but he continued to talk like it meant nothing to him.

The next day he texted me all normal as usual at noon. At about 4pm the other guys gf texted me asking if i wanted to go out with the same group that was at mikes house, I agreed. Mike later told me he called Ben and that he said it was too late for him (he lives far away) so he will skip. After that the gf called me and said that they called Ben too and he said he does not want to go bc of me, he is mad at me and is cutting all contact. I thought she was lying bc Ben texted me that same day and he also told Mike nothing abt that. Anyway the rest of went out thinking nothing of it. First day in school after that he didnt even look at me, I was ready for that but still until that moment didnt believe that gf.

After a month Ben talked with my very good girl friend and she told him about her view on the whole situation, regardless of us being very close. I remember she told me that she told him that the worst thing he could ever do to someone was ignore them out of nowhere which he did. later that day he texted me asking if we could talk in school (could/should have just came up to me in school).All I said was: "no need" bc its been a month of us ignoring each other and I really dont see a point anymore. He told that to Mike, he was on my side, and when Ben finished he said he didnt care about me anyway.

I do really get what I have done wrong, but i really he doesnt see what he has done wrong and that is ONLY that he, when he decided to cut contact with me, didnt tell ME directly but to a FRIENDS GIRLFRIEND who told me. If you really wanted to be the non chalantan guy you could have told me that shit in my face. Also TEXTING me to ask if we could talk? Why? Just come up to me in person you see me in school everyday... So am i the real and only asshole in this?