AITA for Getting Into a Heated Argument With My Political Lesbian Friend at a Gun Therapy Range?

Okay, so this is going to be a wild ride. I (F, 28) am a pretty outspoken, progressive lesbian. Ever since I came out, I’ve found deep, loving bonds with other women that are so fulfilling, and I’m not about to let anyone tell me my love life is "unnatural" or "wrong." My best friend (F, 30), let’s call her Sarah, is on the same page politically, and we’re both very passionate about feminist issues, queer rights, and fighting against right-wing ignorance.

Now, here’s where it gets interesting. Sarah invited me to this "Gun Therapy Range" event. Basically, it’s a shooting range that’s been marketed as a place for men to go, let out all their aggression, and earn "alpha male" points or something ridiculous like that. From what I gather, it’s like they think shooting guns somehow proves their manhood. Sarah had been talking about it for weeks, saying we needed to "experience" it to understand why these men feel so threatened in today’s society. She thought it would be educational, and honestly, I was kind of skeptical but also curious about what this whole "alpha male" thing was about.

So we show up, and immediately it’s a weird vibe. The entire place reeks of toxic masculinity, but I’m trying to keep an open mind. We get to the firing range, and a couple of the dudes in the area start talking about how "real women" need to embrace the "natural role" of being a mother. Then one of them said something about how women today are "too focused on careers and equality" and how that’s why we have so many women who "don’t know how to properly be mothers."

I... lost it.

I’m sure some of you can guess where this is going, but I basically snapped. I’m just standing there, minding my own business, when one guy made some ignorant comment about how "strong women" need to have babies, like somehow my worth as a person is defined by whether I’ve had kids or not. It hit me like a ton of bricks. I’m 28, childfree by choice, and totally against the idea that having a child is the only thing that validates a woman. So I let him have it, politely, but firmly, pointing out how sexist and outdated that opinion was.

Then Sarah jumps in, and this is where things took a turn. She tells me I’m being too confrontational and that maybe I should try to understand these guys more rather than shutting them down immediately. She said, "It’s their culture. They feel threatened, and the only way they know how to express their frustrations is by, you know, pretending that being a man means blasting things with a gun." And honestly, I get what she was trying to say, but I was furious. How could she defend this? These were the exact kinds of men who would turn around and vote against women’s rights, LGBTQ rights, and make decisions that affect my body, my rights, and my life!

I told her I didn’t care about "understanding" their fragile egos and that no one should be defending toxic masculinity just because it’s wrapped up in some weird cultural lens. It got super tense. Then, to make matters worse, we started arguing about pregnancy. She said something along the lines of, "Well, don’t you think it’s a beautiful thing when a woman is able to have a child and bring new life into the world?" and I, without thinking, responded, "That’s a personal choice, not some kind of universal calling."

Sarah got upset with me, saying that I was dismissing the idea of motherhood altogether and being dismissive toward women who do choose that path. But, honestly, I wasn’t trying to disrespect anyone’s choice to become a mother. It’s just that the idea of people, especially men, thinking that every woman’s value is tied to her ability to bear children is infuriating.

Eventually, Sarah stormed off. We’ve been friends for years, but she hasn’t reached out since. I feel like maybe I was too harsh with her. I don’t want to lose her, but I also feel like I shouldn’t have to "understand" these dudes or their worldview at the expense of my own values.

So, Reddit… AITA for arguing with my friend at the Gun Therapy Range? Should I have just kept my mouth shut and tried to see things from her perspective?