context: at this point i had been dating my boyfriend for a little over 3 years. we were long distance because he was back home while i was going to school 5 hours away. I came home for the weekend and my entire family, my mom and dad, my boyfriend, and my sister, decided we wanted to drink and play some card games.

by the end of the night i was pretty drunk and so was everyone else. of course because me and my dad butt heads, we started arguing. i don’t remember the specifics of the first argument but it got to the point that i went to my room to cool down. after a while my dad opened my door and stood in my doorway and was asking if i was mad at him and making remarks since i’ve always been emotional every time we argue. by this point i was still fuming. me and my dad have argued since the time i gained consciousness and haven’t stopped since. i guess the liquid truth serum worked because i just said to him, “i don’t like the way you treat mom.” my dad has always made comments about her weight. by the time i told my dad this, i was bawling. and of course he denied it and said he would never say anything mean to her, and thus the argument that began this story started. we began screaming at each other, with me saying he’s always said really harsh things and him denying it the entire time. he ended the conversation by slamming my bedroom door and retreating back to the kitchen (which is right outside my room). after a few minutes my sister came into my room and sat with me and talked to me about how she agreed that my dad shouldn’t talk to my mom like that, but that she knows for a fact my dad loves her. i know my dad loves my mom, but that doesn’t mean he can make fun of her.

by this point it’s been around 15 minutes since my dad went back to the kitchen. i had calmed down and my sister left the room, and i could see my boyfriend sitting at the table with my dad. i was a little confused and hurt by this but i didn’t make a big deal of it. eventually i came out and apologized to my dad, gave him a hug, and told him i loved him. all he said in response was: “you’re an asshole.” i just awkwardly laughed it off and went back to my room. probably around an hour later my boyfriend came and got into bed. i had been dwelling on the fact that he ditched me for my dad, so i told him it hurt me that he sat with my dad instead of me. he just told me that my dad needed someone too and it was an opportunity to get to know him better. i understand wanting to get to know people, but is it more important than being with your girlfriend when she needs you?

am i the asshole?