So... yeah. I’m kinda livid right now.

I work in production for concerts and live events. Typically, I’m trusted to run the stage, organize the team, and handle tech without anyone micromanaging me. That’s the dynamic that works best — I know the gear, the flow, the musicians, and how to keep the show running smooth. But during a recent mid-sized event, that all got flipped upside down.

Here’s the context:

At a previous event, somehow four of our team's in-ear monitors (IEMs) went missing. Super sketchy, and no one told me until later that all four were gone — we didn’t realize the full extent of the issue until the day of the show.

Fast forward to this event. We pulled up with just a couple working IEMs. Two team members ended up buying cheap Walmart headphones as a last-minute fix. I had a spare pair of off-brand in-ears too. Not ideal at all, but it was something.

Since I was playing keys, I offered to use the bulky over-ear studio headphones — even though they’re not very subtle onstage — so that the background vocalist could wear the in-ears and look more polished. It was a tradeoff, but I figured it was a small sacrifice to maintain the look and keep our monitoring functional.

Then... here comes my boss (who, for the record, is also my dad), and he decides to pick a fight with me three minutes before showtime. He insists I can’t wear the big headphones because he “doesn’t like how they look.”

I calmly explained that we didn’t have any other monitoring options. If I took the in-ears back from the singer, he’d be completely lost. Monitoring is critical — we can’t perform if we can’t hear each other.

Out of nowhere, my dad goes from 0 to 100. He literally threatens my job, saying I can leave if I wear the big headphones. I was stunned. It felt immature, unnecessary, and like he was intentionally trying to create drama at the worst possible time.

I held my ground and told the team to keep everything as-is — nobody was going onstage without being able to hear. Then I ran to the bathroom real quick, and when I came back, the headphones I left on my keyboard were gone. The background singer’s headphones (the in-ears I gave up) were back in their place.

I immediately asked the background vocalist what he was planning to use. He said “nothing.”

I was so done.

At that point, I quietly told the stage assistant to mute the background singer’s mic during the performance. If he didn’t care enough to fight for the monitoring situation and was just going to go along with this chaos, I couldn’t risk him messing up the whole performance.

Now, here’s where I’m stuck: I feel like I did what I had to do to protect the performance and the team. But I’m also mad — my boss threatened my job over headphones and undermined me in front of everyone. And keep in mind, this team’s growth and success has been directly tied to my leadership and technical knowledge.

My dad, while good at getting us gigs and handling logistics, has ZERO experience in live music production. He doesn’t understand the stakes or the consequences of small tech issues. I’ve always respected the chain of command, but when someone with no technical background starts making decisions that could tank a show — and then punishes me for pushing back — I feel like the roles should be reevaluated.

So I guess I’m wondering:

• Was I the asshole for arguing with him in front of the team?
• Was muting the mic going too far?
• And what could I have done differently in this situation?

Any advice or thoughts would be appreciated. I'm still heated but trying to reflect.