tws for assault and mentions of suicide/mental health issues

the tldr is that my brother forgot my birthday, he didnt get any gifts, confrontation led to assault. theres a longer version with more depth here

i (21m) have a younger brother (19m) who i used to have a pretty close bond with. we generally like the same kind of stuff and share some mutual friends.

birthdays are quite important to me. not only were most of my family members not around for it, but im disabled and trans, growing up in and out of the hospital. my birthday has really been the only day where i've felt like it's about me. it's now even more important as it signifies another year i've lived considering i almost succeeded with my 2020 suicide attempt.

both my brother and i were working full time at the same company in different stores when this happened. my brother totally forgot and had to be reminded by my dad, my mum and my sister about what day it was. he didn't get me anything. this would be fine except for the fact that a) gifts on birthdays are instilled in our family b) he started lying saying that he'd get something and that he didn't forget, when others told me he did. this went on for quite a while until a convention rolled around, and he was reminded yet again.

during the convention he came back with tons of merch for himself, but nothing for me at all. at this point i was getting really annoyed. there were a lot of excuses he'd given about not having enough time or money, despite the fact that we worked the same hours with the convention taking place while he was on leave. we paid the same amount for rent and his payrate was significantly higher than mine.

the day afterwards, with encouragement from my sister, i confronted him with a list of things i liked, telling him if he didnt do something he was no longer getting anything from me. this conversation ended up completely going off the rails with him giving me excuses. these included being tired, not having enough money, and having suicidal thoughts. i told him that the former weren't good excuses as we worked the same job with the same hours and that i was there to help and would've been okay with him skipping out if he'd told me about the latter due to my own attempt.

these comments kept piling up into more and more small and (frankly) unjustifiable ones along the lines of not having enough time to get something (it had been almost 2 months at this point) until it boiled over, leading to him pushing me over and assaulting me. in the process i obtained numerous bruises, broken glasses and a mild concussion. he was forced to pay for my glasses by my parents, get a gift and say he was sorry. we didnt take it to the cops, but ive moved out since.

ive had mixed reactions on this, with some people telling me its justified whereas a lot of people have chalked this down to a petty sibling fight. ive also had numerous people say i shouldve just let it go and not made a gift a huge deal, or that i did something wrong for him to react like that, or that i shouldnt be bringing it up to people because of his mental health. admittedly these upset me a lot, not only because im on the spectrum but because i have clinical depression alongside several other disorders diagnosed and have not done this to someone. it especially hurts when ive always tried my best to be supportive of him only for him to (now) blatantly makes jokes about it to my face, holding his fist up and laughing when i flinch.

nowadays im very blatantly rude and unfriendly to him. i reported what happened to senior management to ensure we wouldn't work together, told several mutual friends and remind him of what happened a lot (which often leads to either a joke or some form of an awkward, half hearted sorry). i a lso havent held up to my word. whereas i would usually shout something like food for him ive refused to do so and bought him nothing for christmas nor his own birthday. ive been feeling guilty about this for a while despite what he did.

long story short, aita? should i have just let the birthday thing go? thanks to anyone who read this far down <3