Hi Reddit!
I'm writing this post because I genuinely don't know if I'm in the wrong here.

Last weekend, I (f18) went to a housewarming party. My best friend invited me, along with one of our other friends. Her boyfriend, on the other hand, had invited 11 of his friends.

About halfway through the party, I started talking to this guy (m21) (let's call him Jake). We were both outside smoking a cigarette and just ended up chatting. We had a lot in common, and I thought he was pretty cute. We stayed out there talking for about half an hour before we rejoined the rest of the group. For the rest of the evening, though, we didn’t really talk much more.

At the end of the night, we all said goodbye, but I never got the chance to ask for his number. Since I was staying over at my friend’s place, I asked her if maybe she could get me his socials. Her boyfriend chimed in and said that even though Jake is single, his mom was recently diagnosed with untreatable cancer, so he might be feeling really down and stressed. He also mentioned that Jake doesn’t really do social media—just Discord and phone numbers.

I said I totally understood, and that it must be a really hard time for him. I then asked if, if Jake ever asked about me, would her boyfriend be willing to give him my Discord? Then I went to bed.

The next day, I woke up with a horrible hangover, but I was still thinking about Jake. Before I went home, I asked my friend if she could maybe give Jake my number. She just gave me a really nasty look and said, “Girl—his mom has cancer.”

Later that week, she messaged me saying that she thought what I said was disgusting and that I had no empathy for Jake’s situation.

But here’s the thing—I do feel bad about what he’s going through. I just don’t think that his mom having cancer should define him or mean he’s not allowed to have his own life, connections, or moments of happiness. I wasn’t trying to be insensitive; I just felt like we had a nice connection.

So AITA?

Edit:

I would like to add, that we sat beside each other for the rest of the evening and made small talk. When I say we didn’t talk for the rest of the night I mean we didn’t talk one on one again. It’s fair if y’all still think I’m the asshole after knowing this, I can see both perspectives. But we did talk for more than 30 minutes, just not one on one