Stressful time for the family, as Dad got stroke while looking after Mum hospitalised overseas so I'm sending my wife (their in-laws) overseas to look after them leaving me to take care of 2 toddlers (under 5) by myself. Brother also have a young family (2 under 3s) so I stepped up and send over my wife as she's more flexible in her work to be able to work overseas as opposed to us (me, brother and his wife).

Fast forward; turned out Mum was diagnosed with Stage 2 cancer, so Wife is arranging a lot of tests to find out treatments. Given no insurance or public healthcare approach, we forked out for this and Brother snapped saying that he didn't get consulted before taking all these tests and only get told after the test/payment. His argument is that, however we feel that his main concern is the money although he said it isn't.

Note that these tests were all requested by the doctor, although some may not be needed due to the nature of the treatment but given the situation, the doctor over there is often will ask for the full tests even if we're not going for the treatment. So, we followed the doctor's request to save time (i.e. if we exclude one of the test for one approach; we fear that the doctor will ask and then will need to arrange for another appointment). Note that all of these is in a group chat and Brother response is very minimal.

So I got angry and ignore him for whatever he wanted to talk about (i.e. plan for treatment) and using excuse of being busy taking care of my 2 toddlers. This happened for 2 days, until the day of the doctor's consultation where I texted him, basically saying nothing to discuss before the consultation.

That night, he came over to my house, banging on the door and got angry right after I opened the door. Screaming, pushing me, demanding that we talk. All of this while I kept saying there's nothing to discuss before the consultation and sort of brush away all of his comment and I think one of them is asking whether I think he doesn't care about Mum and I sort of saying "Yes". He kept screaming and then I ran to my room before I realised that my kid is there looking at us. Grabbed him, and lock ourselves in the room. He was still screaming telling that we need to discuss for a while and then ask for forgiveness.

Through CCTV, I could see that he's sitting infront of the room for a while, until he eventually leave the house around an hour later. That night, my son kept asking if he is still outside the room and doesn't want to go sleep. I felt that he's traumatised.

Afterwards,looking at the CCTV, I realised that my son saw the entire thing as he went out when he heard the first scream and I believed he saw me getting slapped. This is what break my heart the most as I never even have argument/fight with my wife infront of the kids.

Do I deserve the anger for ignoring him through this ordeal?