Hey, using a throwaway for this because I really don’t want this tied to my actual account. Sorry if this is rambly, I’m kinda rushing to get this out.

So I (28F) went on a first date today with a guy, lets call him Caelin (32M), that I’ve been texting with for a bit. We met online and at first he was honestly super sweet. Funny, into musicals and singing, very open about his hobbies. Through the times we talked, he would share with me more and more. He told me eventually on he was still a virgin and hadn’t been on a real date since he was 21, which ngl made me hesitate. That’s not a dealbreaker, but yeah, it gave me some pause. Like, is there a reason its been so long like religion or something? Still, I figured maybe he was just shy or hadn’t had good luck.

He lives at home with his parents, which again—yeah, not ideal—but he explained it was because he had a stroke back in 2019 and got hit with a ton of debt. I get it, medical stuff sucks. And he said he’s been trying to dig out of it, so I wasn’t gonna hold that against him. He’s a trucker and was on a day off today, so we planned a chill afternoon date.

He said money was tight, so we decided to just hang out at his place. I didn’t mind, honestly. But once I got there, things just… felt different. He opened the door barefoot, wearing a green t-shirt with a cartoon taco on it that said “I’m into fitness… fitness this taco in my mouth,” and baggy shorts. He’s a really big guy, like big, and I know that makes me sound shallow, but the combo of the shirt and everything just hit weird. It just didn't seem like the thing to wear on technically a first date. I wasn’t expecting him to look so different from how he came across in pictures. (He didn’t catfish or anything, but it’s different in person, you know?)

He greeted me in this weird, exaggerated game show voice, like “Welcome to the date of your dreams!” and then went straight for the hug. I wasn't expecting that, but it was kind of cute I guess?

Before anything else, he brought me into the living room and introduced me to his dad. He was sitting in a recliner, just kinda hanging out. He seemed… off. His hands were shaking a lot and he had this weird, forced laugh when he made a joke about “not scaring off another one.” I faked a chuckle. Caelin said something like “He’s fine, just doesn’t move much these days,” or something, and brushed it off.

We went down to the basement to watch a movie, and it got more awkward. He complimented my legs twice and then kind of pulled me closer on the couch. It wasn’t aggressive, but it was like… this vibe shift. We'd talk during the movie, but he just acted different then he was over the phone. He’d go quiet for a bit, Then make random comments and I would either feign a laugh, or just kind of brush it off with a "wow thats cool." then suddenly after some things I said, he would say stuff like “I know this is what you wanted, right? So no need to be bitchin’.” I didn't think my discomfort was bitchin??? I just kind of froze. He touched my leg a couple times, nothing awful, but I didn’t know how to react. I wasn't expecting to get this physical, but in between him randomly singing parts of the movie we were watching (moulin rouge) and then doing completely out of the blue weird things (like getting defensive or being generally rude), I just got kind of a bad feeling. I wasn’t scared exactly, just super uncomfortable. I wasn't expecting him to make so many comments about my body, like it was all he cared about. When I started showing discomfort in the comments he'd get this confused look on his face, and just say things like, "What's wrong you look great? Not fat or anything! Trust me, you're thick in the right way." Like ok....what?!

He kept turning to me instead of the movie at times, like he was expecting something. Then he started muttering about how “people always say they want one thing and get freaked out when it actually happens. I guess I'm sorry if I'm not playing my part right. But whatever lets just keep watching” I tried to joke it off, but he just seemed more annoyed the longer it went on.

After the movie he randomly said, “Wait, I wanna show you something,” and pulled me up to go to his room. Didn’t ask, just sort of said it like it was happening. His room was kind of messy, but it looked like there was an attempt at making the room seem clean. There were also plushies in the corner, and he had one of Winnie the Pooh on his bed. I got a little more creeped out, like, I understand collecting things but come on, the guy is 32. He brought me to his computer and played this cover he recorded of a musical song. He's not bad, but not great, but I wasn't listen ting much, since I kind of hate musicals I kind of smiled and said “wow, that’s really… interesting,” and he was like “Interesting, you mean you hated it? Typical!” in this offended voice, so I quickly changed the subject.

As we were standing up, I noticed his computer was still unlocked. I don’t know why but I just panicked. He asked if I wanted a drink, and I said like “Do you have anything other than soda?” and he said he didn’t really drink but he’d run to the liquor store if I wanted. Thought I heard him say, "guess we are getting this thing going today." And then saw him wink. I shuddered and told him sure, but made up something about needing to pee or check messages while he was gone. He trusted me to stay here.

So while he’s out grabbing something, I’m writing this on his desktop. I know that’s sketchy, but it was open and I needed to get this out fast. I’m logging out after this, obviously, and leaving. He’ll probably try to text me later but I’m planning to block him.

I don’t feel like he’s dangerous or anything, although he was very handsy, but the whole vibe was not what I expected. I thought I was meeting a shy, funny guy who was just nervous about dating—but instead he was super weird, kind of rude in subtle ways, touchy at the wrong times, and honestly just gave off the worst energy. Like… manipulative “nice guy” energy, I guess?

So yeah. I’m packing up to go as soon as I hit post. AITA for leaving while he was out and ghosting him right after?

(Again, sorry if this is rambly, he said it’s a short drive and I wanna be gone before he’s back)

Edit: house wasn't too far so I'm already back at my place. I'm putting this edit in to address how stupid I look. Clearly I should have left and then posted this after, I don't know what my brain was thinking, but at the time I just thought I'd do it there and then leave. I guess I thought I'd want to see if I was the asshole by the time I got back home. Tldr, yes I should have absolutely left before posting anything or doing what I did.