This is gonna sound like a fever dream but I swear to god this actually happened and I need to know if I’m in the wrong or if I just finally snapped.

So I (29F) hosted Easter brunch at my house this year for the family. It’s kind of a big deal to me because I have this weird tradition where I make these little butter sculptures (lambs, bunnies, one time I did a butter velociraptor, whatever). It’s my thing. I carve them, chill them, and they go on the table as centerpieces. I don’t eat them. I just like doing it.

Now my step-grandmother, Nancy (86F), has always been weird. Like “used to eat mothballs as a child and calls soup ‘wet food’” kind of weird. She’s not senile or anything, just aggressively eccentric and, frankly, kind of gross.

This year, as I’m setting up the table, I notice she’s hovering over the butter lamb. I blink and SHE IS LICKING IT. Like a cat. Just dragging her tongue across it while making eye contact with me.

I’m like “Nancy what the actual hell” and she just goes “It looked dry.” ????

So I swap it out with the backup butter bunny. Two minutes later — she’s licking that one too.

At this point I’m losing my mind. I tell her to stop, she laughs and says “You can’t tell me what to do, I’m an elder” and then proceeds to lick her hand and pat my head like I’m a disobedient dog.

I ask my mom to say something. My mom says, and I quote, “Just let her be. It’s Easter.”

???

So here’s where I may have overreacted. I go upstairs. I grab some string cheese. I say “Hey Nancy, want to see something cool in the garage?” (Yes, I baited her with dairy. I’m not proud.)

She follows me in. I open the panic room (yes, I have a panic room, it came with the house, it’s not fancy). I step inside, she steps in too, I walk out, and I lock it.

I left her in there with a folding chair, a jug of water, and a little dish of peeps I tossed in for energy. I wasn’t gonna leave her forever. Just like, until everyone left.

But my dumbass cousin went looking for her 40 minutes later, heard her singing hymns through the wall vents, and freaked out. They opened the door, she waddles out looking smug as hell and IMMEDIATELY licks the turkey.

Now the family is calling me unstable and saying I “psychologically tortured an elderly woman.” My aunt said I’m lucky Nancy “isn’t pressing charges for unlawful confinement,” and my mom says I ruined Easter forever.

I say maybe Nancy shouldn’t treat communal food like it’s a salt lick. I also found her dentures on my bathroom sink and I don’t know what that means.

AITA?