I (38F) am seriously considering not going to my sister’s (48F) wedding this Saturday (April 5), and I’m being told I’m the a**hole for even thinking about it — especially by my mom. So here’s what’s been going on, and I’ll let you all decide.

My sister already got married in Hawaii back in November, after dating her now-husband for just 5 months. He had cheated on her in the past and was, frankly, just not a great guy. But I love my sister, so I kept quiet and supported her. I figured if she was happy, that’s what mattered.

In December, she decided to plan a formal wedding for March 1 — so just a couple months away — and asked me to be her maid of honor and throw her a bridal shower. I agreed. But three weeks later, I had to move into a new home because of my new remote job and my son needing his own space (he’s energetic and loud — it just wasn’t working in our old place).

With the move, my funds were completely tied up — buying all new furniture and essentials for the home — so I told her I couldn’t afford to throw the shower. She got really upset, saying I should’ve asked others in the bridal party or her best friend for help, but truthfully, they couldn’t help financially either. I explained I just didn’t have it. I normally stretch myself thin for everyone, but this time I chose not to — and that set her off.

After that conversation, things changed. She became cold and distant. Still, I showed up to the bridal shower and had a good time, but she barely acknowledged me. I had created and paid for her wedding invitations to be professionally printed — out of my own pocket — and the only thing she said was, “I got them.” No thank you. Nothing.

Then something happened that truly unsettled me. Her husband came to help clean up after the shower. I was folding tables in the backyard, and I felt something brush against my butt. I looked around and saw him right there, pretending to clean the table next to me. The backyard was empty. There was no reason for him to be that close. I honestly believe it was intentional.

And this is where it gets even more complicated. Years ago, when they had dated before, my sister was fostering a teenage girl. That girl told me — and others — that he touched her butt. No one believed her… except me. I believed her then, and after what happened at the bridal shower, I believe her even more now.

After the shower, my sister stopped answering my calls or texts. Then, out of the blue, she called to tell me her husband had been in a car accident and was airlifted to a hospital near where I live. Despite everything, I put my hurt aside and went to the hospital to support her.

They postponed the wedding to April 5 (this Saturday), and since that day — again — I’ve heard nothing from her. No check-ins, no “thank you,” nothing. She’s always been the type who expects everyone to chase after her, apologize first, kiss her a**. But something in me this year has shifted — and I’m just done with that dynamic.

Then yesterday, she finally calls. No “Hi,” no “How are you?” Just: “Umm… can you be the bartender at my reception?” Then halfway through, she says never mind, because she wanted me to enjoy myself. It was clear she didn’t call to reconnect — she called because she needed something. Again.

My husband is fully supportive of whatever I decide. My mom, on the other hand, said I’m an a**hole for deciding to “set boundaries now, of all times,” and told me, “You already know how your sister is.”

But does that mean I should continue letting her use me? Ignore me? Disregard my safety and emotions?

So… AITA if I don’t go to her wedding this weekend?