This is a genuine question. I am trying to figure out if I should visit my uncle or not before I move away. So not sure if this fits perfectly under the AITA question since it didn't completely happen yet.

I made a post on my situation that was super long (post about being estranged from my family and not attending Easter if you wanted to see it, but it's not required).

Long story short, big issues with my parents. They crossed boundaries and controlled me and coerced me and more to have me stay under their roof when I was well into adulthood (they mostly used my illness to be able to do that).

I got away (after a few years). I went to a developing country. Was then heading back home and stopped in a country mid way first where I realized I mis-calculated the cost of living, but moreso my mind hadn't mentally adjusted to my new reality fully. I thought I had more support than I did. And I realized that after what my parents did, I couldn't live with them again. So it wasn't enough I just fly back to my home country. I would have to go directly from the airport to a place to rent, without first having a local job. I would need many months of rent worth in money. I didn't have that. So I stopped my commute back home and was stuck in that country that was midway between where I was and my home country. I had no financial way to return (I might have had the flight money but not starter money, so I wasn't going to fly back just to be homeless).

So suddenly I just had to figure things out where I was...

Some months in or so I'm communicating with a relative, then another sort of thing. One relative is not willing to help financially or with a place to stay. More months going. I'm like a year and a half into being stuck in this country and my uncle is talking about staying with him. That's nice. I appreciate that, I really do. But I would be returning and moving in with him without enough money to move out, for at least several months. And he is close with my parents (the abusers) and I was pretty tight lipped when I lived in my home country about what was going on. So I had to try to bring him up to speed a bit, while I was also processing it. And he didn't really get it at first. He actually approached me initially talking to me like.. well like he got a lot of fake info from my parents... so him and I are trying to figure this out over months and in turns into another year.

Other relatives hung up on me, didn't reply to me, never reached out. Other people closing their doors and directing me to live with my parents. My parents tried to use me being stuck as leverage telling me that they could help me live in our home country but I'd have to do a few things for them, and they would control the money and pay a landlord, so have control over me that way. I did not reply to that message. They did not help. They left me there in that country. Years are going and a lot is happening and things are getting more complicated.

I eventually make it back to my home country without any of their help. But heading off again (it's complicated, but yeah and sad). I never did see my uncle. I believe he's nice just with some hard headed ideas and came at me with a lot of assumptions and he still thinks I'm not the best or this is somehow all my fault or something.

He has invited me to his place though to see each other in person.

My concern is I'm really weak right now. Things have not gone well in different ways and mentally I'm weak right now (I'll admit), living in a bad place where I don't sleep and there are some health concerns, financially it's tough, etc. I think there is a risk meeting with someone who has shown a history of not really listening, of not changing his initial assumptions about me, of siding with my parents etc. And I also feel like he should have to show a little more understanding of my situation before I meet.

At the same time, he's not my parents. He doesn't have the same obligation to me as a parent would have. He is family though, so maybe some obligations still. And he is inviting.

I just don't know to trust it or not. I've been lied to so much, so much manipulation and deception from my parents. I don't know how much he worked with them, or how much he is totally separate from them.

Maybe I could meet and see and it's a visit if nothing else.

I also used to be much better in some ways than I am. I'm looking rough (understandably) and I would not like to walk in there some pathetic, weak, unhealthy looking person that looks like a pity party that he can potentially take advantage of, or try. I'd rather go, do my thing, get stronger, and then see him then. But he is older. I pray to God he lives for much much much more, but maybe I should visit. I don't know.

Would I be the AH if I don't visit before I head out of the country? Maybe I see him a year down the road instead.