TW: MENTIONS OF ABUSE I 14(F) think I’m going partially insane or not but I need advice badly , my mum 54(F) is a usually pretty good person for me to talk about my issues with everybody , besides my sister for whatever reason.

For context my sister has tldr , said I deserved whatever abuse happened to me at the hand of elders , deserved to be hit , and has called me the r slur on multiple occasions and that’s just a fraction of it.

Due to this I am limited contact , but my mum has started saying “but she is changing” and another is “but that’s a coping mechanism” now I’m not sure about coping mechanisms , but I don’t think laughing at a kids dream is one.

This has started to affect me a lot and caused me to have multiple times where I just sob in the kitchen as unfortunately I’m really fragile , I most of the time have to have my earphones to avoid these comments.

Yesterday I finally snapped and told her , “mum seriously I am 14 she is 22 there’s no excuse for her taking her bleep out on me I am still a child she is a adult with two kids!”.

This caused her to start crying and saying she’s a bad mum , which she usually does if something doesn’t go her way and now I’m internally sighing typing this I don’t want to see her hurt anymore and I don’t want to be selfish and make her choose in-between daughters but I can’t keep doing this it’s seriously affecting me.

But I love them both to death but as mentioned I’m fragile still from previous experiences and she’s starting to remind me of them I guess I’m just scared.

So Reddit AITA for not wanting anymore excuses for my sister?