Hi everyone, I (17F) am feeling pretty hurt and just want some outside perspective. My mum (46F) got married this weekend, and while I know it was supposed to be a happy occasion, I walked away feeling ignored and unimportant.

Some context: My mum can be very stubborn. She often says her family is toxic and plays the victim a lot. We’ve had rocky moments — I’ve even stayed with my grandma before due to arguments — but things had been calm lately, so I thought we were okay.

She met her now-husband in December 2023. He lives in another country and seems nice, but we barely know him. My younger sister (13F) and I met him briefly in December. Our older sister (27F) only met him a month ago. Despite all that, they got married this past weekend after getting engaged in December 2024.

From the start, we were kept out of the loop. My mum didn’t tell us anything about the wedding — not where we were staying, not how we could help — she left it all to our older sister to explain.

On Friday, we went to help set up the church. My mum didn’t help at all. She bossed everyone around and even told a friend, “I’m just going to pretend to look busy.” My younger sister went off with a friend’s little sister, and I stayed behind to help with decorations. Later, my mum told me to go help with chair covers, then got annoyed when I didn’t do it her way, even though I knew how.

The next morning, she was meant to arrive at my grandma’s at 10am to grab her dress and have coffee but showed up at 11:15, said a quick hi, got the dress, and left after five minutes. That was the extent of our interaction before the wedding.

At the ceremony, things felt tense. The pastor (a family friend) wouldn’t make eye contact with my grandma. During the document signing, my mum chose our grandad (who she often says she dislikes) as her witness — not my grandma or someone else close. After the ceremony, I tried to hug her, but she ignored me, so I kept my distance to avoid upsetting her on her big day.

Then came the dinner, which was the worst part. The seating was strange — my grandma, little sister, and I were separated at the same table so we couldn’t talk. My older sister sat with my mum and her new husband. We didn’t cause a fuss but had to keep getting up just to speak with our own family. Guests were asking why we weren’t in the wedding or seated with our mum, which was super awkward.

When she left, she didn’t say goodbye to any family members. That night, we were meant to stay with our grandma, but our dad picked us up instead. We were upset and ended up crying in the car as we explained everything to him.

The next day, my mum asked if my little sister and I wanted to get breakfast before she left for her honeymoon. I didn’t want to — I felt completely ignored and hurt — but she insisted. I talked to my older sister and asked if I should share how I felt with our mum, and she encouraged me to.

So I called my mum to explain. I tried to express how being ignored and excluded hurt, but she interrupted me, brushed it off, and told me I was being “spiteful” and making things up. She ended the call angrily. I later texted her that other people had also commented on the weird seating and our lack of involvement, and she blew up again — sending message after message, even after I asked if we could pause the conversation.

Eventually, I stopped replying. She kept messaging me about random stuff (like photography) and I just got overwhelmed. I told her again that we could talk later, but now i feel really bad. AITA?