A year ago, my husband (35m) and I (32f) moved from a small apartment into a modest house—two bedrooms and a backyard, perfect for our family. Around the same time, my sister (35f)’s lease ended. We had talked about living together to save money but I was hesitant since our past attempt didn’t go well due to her anger issues and impulsive traits, and she also wasn’t open to compromises, like taking the smaller room even though we have kids and a bigger bed.

As we moved in, she realized her credit and finances weren’t good enough to get her own place. She broke down, so I offered to let her stay with us temporarily to save money. She agreed and took the second room. Our two kids (both under 4) sleep in our room. I told her not to worry about bills—we were financially stable and I genuinely wanted to help her save up.

Later, my husband was laid off and we started to struggle, but I still didn’t ask her for consistent contribution. He now cares for the house, our daughters full-time, and since I’m partially disabled, he also supports me as needed. She only works around 15 hours a week.

We decided to start a family business and discussed staying together long-term. We had vague talks about splitting profit, but I suggested adjusting the split since she didn’t pay bills. She agreed and said she’d cover one bill. I have a mental disorder that affects decision-making so I wasn’t happy with that conversation but since we said we’d actually agree when the profits kick in, I waited.

I regularly support her—morally, financially, and with misc things like doing her resume etc. She said she’d help with cleaning and do what she can with the kids, but she hasn’t done much around the house, with the kids or contributed to the business. I asked her to take care of the cats (she has one, we have one) and their needs as a compromise because both my children have intellectual delays and we have a lot on our plate.

Fast forward. She doesn’t do much for the cats, so my husband and I end up handling it. If we don’t get to the litter box before she does, she’d get upset and say, “I get you gave me that responsibility but can you just do it when I’m not around,” but then wouldn’t check on it for weeks, disappears for days and still expects us to handle it— making comments when the food is empty assuming we’re not feeding LIVE BEINGS as a result to delegating the responsibility. I explained that the food is regularly filled and you happen to see it when they’re done eating.

When the business started turning a profit, I suggested we cover bills first, then split the remainder. She had an angry outburst saying I’m going back on my word and that those things aren’t her responsibility. Since then, she’s distanced herself, posting online about people lacking integrity. One day, She thought we were talking about her (we weren’t) and she came in very aggressively telling us to say it to her face, I told her I wasn’t in the position to have a convo with her and she kept going so, out of anger, I kicked her out. However I told her that it was out of anger because I wasn’t in the space to have a convo and let her stay. Now she’s pretending to be cordial with clear aggression about the outcome of things.

We’re finally in the position to catch up on bills and she needs help with a government application cost. I told her I can help two weeks from now but she said she needed it asap and after originally saying no I sent her the money, sacrificing again…. She didn’t respond, or say thank you but she went and posted saying that she lost respect. AITA?