This is hypothetical, but I went on an online date recently. The guy said he really wanted a partner who would become an integral part of his family. Totally fine, sounds good. But then he gave an example of what that means: every year, his family spends an entire day at an amusement park until it closes. (There are other events like holidays but this was the one he chose to elaborate. And yes, it’s only one day.)

As he described it, my blood quietly ran cold.

Here’s the thing: I don’t sweat well, so being in the sun all day tends to lead to heat stroke for me. Also…I hate amusement parks. I know that’s borderline un-American, but I do. I don’t enjoy the rides. The food is overpriced and often fried and oily. It’s hot. Trash cans usually have a cloud of wasps and bees (I carry an epi pen). It’s loud, full of overstimulated kids who are so full of sugar, overstimulated and hyper. I feel sticky, and there’s so many people you can barely walk. Bathrooms always feel slimy and smell vaguely like diapers, urine and despair. The stalls with wet paper on the floor with a shoe print of a previous user. There’s nowhere peaceful to sit or just be. Everything is branded, blasting music, and pushing merch.

To be clear: I wouldn’t try to stop anyone from going. I’m not anti-fun. I just know I’d be absolutely miserable the entire day, every year, over and over. Watching people enjoy something I can’t participate in while trying not to pass out isn’t really my idea of bonding. I’d rather sit in an air conditioned room, read a book and have tea and a pastry.

I mentioned this to a friend, and they told me that if I truly loved the person, I’d want to go anyway. That they would go. That made me wonder…AITA (hypothetically) that even if I loved someone-I really wouldn’t want to go. I’d go if it was really really important to them but I’d feel really bummed out inside.