I (17M) recently had a situation with a friend (18F) that I need an outside opinion on.

She has been working a job for about 2.5 months now and is making around $2,000 a month. In a conversation, I brought up the topic of saving and investing, because I personally believe it's important to start early. I framed it as concern for her future, not judgment — I didn’t insult her intelligence, call her irresponsible, or attack her personally. I just expressed that I was worried she wasn’t setting herself up long-term, based on what she told me about her spending habits.

However, she told me that the way I presented it made her feel like I was judging her, parenting her, and acting like I was "better" than her. She said it felt like I thought I knew better because of my own interests in finance and because I was pushing my views onto her. From her side, it felt belittling even if I didn’t intend it to be. She asked for a straightforward apology — not just for my intentions, but for making her feel bad at all.

I apologized for how my words made her feel, and I clarified multiple times that I never intended to belittle her. However, I didn’t want to apologize for trying to help her set herself up better financially. I stood by the core idea that wanting someone to succeed isn’t something I should be ashamed of.

She felt that because I defended myself (saying I didn’t believe I belittled her) during the apology, it wasn't a "real" apology. It made her feel unheard and dismissed. She eventually said she no longer wanted to stay close friends and wished me a good day.

Now I'm left wondering: AITA for offering financial advice out of concern and refusing to apologize in the exact way she expected, even though I did apologize for upsetting her?