My best friend “S” (29F) and I (30F) have been inseparable for 15 years. We’ve been through everything together — college, breakups, family deaths, job layoffs. We’ve always said we’d be each other’s maid of honor.

She got engaged recently and I was genuinely happy for her. But when she called to share the news, she told me that her fiancé’s sister would be her maid of honor “for family harmony.” I was… stunned. She said she still wants me “right next to her,” just not officially.

I told her honestly that I felt hurt and pushed aside. I tried to let it go — but as wedding planning progressed, I found myself feeling more like a guest than her person. I finally told her that I didn’t feel comfortable attending the wedding anymore. Not as punishment, but because I didn’t want to sit there pretending everything felt normal when I was so heartbroken.

Now she’s furious. She says I’m making her wedding about me, being petty, and that I’m “ruining one of the most important days of her life.” Our mutual friends are divided — some say I’m standing up for myself, others think I’m being dramatic and selfish.

I still love her. But I feel like if I meant that much, she wouldn’t have replaced me for politics. AITA?

UPDATE : To be clear, I’m not even a bridesmaid. Ever since she got engaged, she’s been acting like I don’t even exist in her life anymore. I was fine with not being the maid of honor at first, that didn’t bother me. What hurt was how she started making me feel like I no longer belonged in her life. It wasn’t about the title. it was about how she made me feel completely excluded.

UPDATE 2 : okay, I get it. Why everyone is calling me TA. But has anyone here thought that why I might’ve decided to distance myself from her. She is probably only getting married once (I sincerely hope so) and the most important moment where she could’ve shown me that I am her best friend is now gone. She already made it clear that our friendship is not that important for her. Is it not reason enough for me to keep my distance for my own peace of mind? If I do attend I will always feel like I did something my heart didn’t allow me to. If she didn’t think of my happiness why should I think of her happiness? I know I sound selfish here but I have learnt my lessons in the past to act selfish in matters like these rather than regretting for life.