I (17M) have lived with my mom and her husband “Tom” since I was 6. My biological dad left when I was 3 and hasn’t been in my life since. Tom’s been around most of my life. He’s not a bad guy—he provides, he’s polite, and he’s never been mean to me—but we’ve never been super close either. We don’t talk about feelings or personal stuff. It’s always just been like… coexisting.

Lately, Tom has started getting upset that I still call him by his first name. He says he’s been there for me for over 10 years, and it hurts that I won’t call him “dad.” My mom is pressuring me too, saying I should show appreciation and that I’m being cold.

I told them both that I’m grateful for what Tom’s done, but I don’t feel that bond. I can’t just force the word “dad” when it doesn’t feel natural to me. It’s not an insult—I just don’t feel that kind of connection.

Tom got quiet and my mom said I broke his heart. Now the house is super awkward, and I feel like the bad guy even though I was honest.

AITA?