I (27f) was in a relationship with "Tony" (29m) 5 years ago. We'd been together two years when I ended it after he assaulted me. It came out of absolute nowhere and while I didn't end up in the hospital, I walked around with a black eye and bruises on my face and arms for a while. My family were all so surprised by Tony's actions and nobody ever knew why. But we all agreed there was no coming back from that. I did press charges. He did serve a small sentence. I also didn't have contact with him again.

Until my sister Lilah (28f) apparently decided there was some way to come back from it because she and Tony are now in love. When she told us about the relationship I was stunned and couldn't speak. The rest of the family were quiet also but eventually started asking questions and then they acted like all was good. I ended up yelling questions at her that she in turn yelled the answers back at me and I stormed off feeling so betrayed and questioning why everyone acted like it was okay.

Lilah and I fought about it again when she called me up and said I had no right to act like it was all about me. I asked her how she'd like it if the shoe was on the other foot but she told me I was being spiteful and petty and to accept I didn't get a say in her love life. I told her I might not get a say in it but she didn't get a say in what I found acceptable either and she didn't get a say in whether I speak to her anymore or not.

I went quiet with Lilah and the rest of my family. But I saw they were welcoming Tony back in like nothing happened. There was fallout from a few different people. Some family friends were disgusted my family would hurt me that way and some of my friends have stopped being friends with two of my siblings (Lilah and my brother Sam who's 2 years younger) because they think it's crazy how Lilah could fall in love with him and my family could act like that's alright after what he did to me.

It's been several months since Lilah told us about her and Tony and I guess I didn't come around like everyone expected because they started texting and calling and when I didn't answer they reached out on social media and just kept trying to engage with me. After a little while I did respond and I said I'd talk to them in person one more time because I had some things to say but that would be it. When I went to my parents house it was them and all my siblings and they were all ready to talk me into submission and they asked me what I thought I was doing taking myself out of the family and treating them with zero respect. I said they were getting what they deserved and that I didn't consider them worthy of respect since they're okay with Tony now. Lilah tried to tell me I had gone too far and I was making her relationship my business when it's not.

I told her to keep that attitude if and when Tony assaults her because I will not want to hear it and I will not care. I told the rest of my family the same. That if Tony assaults and injures any of them I don't want to hear about it and will not care. I said I wanted nothing to do with the people who could accept my abuser back into the family like they have. And I told them I was better off alone than with them for family. I didn't let them say anything else and I left. I blocked them all and any relatives who tried to pass along messages I told them I didn't want to hear from those people anymore. Some extended family are pissed that I'm taking such a hard stance and they say I'm dragging them into it even though I'm not the person asking them to pass along messages.

They told me I'll wake up and regret it one day when they're all gone and especially after what I said about them being assaulted. Other extended family are telling me not to listen. But right now the loudest voices are the ones who are saying I'm wrong.

I do feel a little conflicted because I always loved my family and they were there for me after the assault. So it's making me question if I'm being too me me me about this. AITA?