This is a long story but I really need to get it off my chest. I (29F) dated my ex (32M) when he was stationed in Italy (he’s an active soldier). We were together for about a year when I got pregnant. He immediately wanted to get married to “make things right” because of the pregnancy. We lived together for two years in Italy, and although I had a stable job, a good life, and all my family and support system there, he pressured me nonstop to move with him to the U.S.

I didn’t want to go. I was scared of losing everything I built but he made me feel guilty, saying if I stayed in Italy he would be too far away from his daughter. I eventually gave in.

24 hours before my flight, he dropped a bomb on me: I would be entering the U.S. on a tourist visa, because “the paperwork was still being processed.” I felt trapped but still went, thinking it was temporary.

When I arrived, he confiscated my passport and phone, and had already convinced me back in Italy to transfer my money to his bank account “to make things easier” once I arrived. He promised he would open a joint account and transfer it back. Instead, he locked me inside the house, isolated me in a country where I knew no one, had no money, no ID, and no way to call for help.

He constantly abused me, both physically and emotionally, and made me feel like I was worthless and a terrible mother (our daughter was only 10 months old). He controlled every move I made.

It all ended when one day a neighbor (who thankfully turned out to be a police officer) heard me screaming. He knocked on the door and when my ex opened it, I ran outside with my daughter screaming for help. The police intervened immediately.

They informed me that my ex had never even started my immigration paperwork. My visa had long expired and I was at risk of being deported. The next day, I booked a one-way ticket back to Europe with my daughter.

Before leaving, I also found out I was pregnant again with his second child. When I told him, he tried to force me to have an abortion, but I refused.

Now, several years later, I live safely in Paris with my two kids. He has never once called, written, or asked about his children he doesn’t even know the name of our second child. He completely disappeared from their lives, and honestly, I am grateful.

Recently, some acquaintances tried to guilt-trip me, saying I should “give him another chance” to be in his kids’ lives. That “he might have changed” and that “kids need their father.”

But after everything he put me through trapping me, stealing from me, abusing me, abandoning me I don’t trust him anywhere near them. I don’t even think he deserves to know them.

So Reddit, AITA for refusing to ever let my ex back into my children’s lives?

(Also, a message to any woman reading this: Never move across the world for a man without securing your independence first. Even if you’re married. Protect yourself.)