TW: MENTIONS OF SA

So my then (now ex) partner had been DMing a D&D game with myself and a handful of other friends for about 6 months. We had had a recent ground-rules setting "session 0" when some players dropped and others joined and everything started out going smoothly. The one hard rule we had set was "no sexual assault", which I fully agreed with.

So (in game) our party is all investigating this bar that we've heard a rumor is being used as a base of ops by some bad guys. We get some drinks, talk to the bartenders, look around. One player has the idea to explore some of the staff areas and if they're discovered, play drunk/dumb that they were just looking for a bathroom. I decide my character should go with since it could be dangerous. While my friend is sneaking into a room, I'm scouting ahead and stopped by an Orc guard and he (via the DM) says:

Orc: "You're not allowed here! Go back or there will be consequences"

So I think I better try to buy some time for my buddy to investigate, channeling all the bar drunks I've seen in bouncer confrontations irl & in media to distract him.

Adventurer (acting drunk, played by me): "Uhhh, sorry sir, I was just looking for somewhere take a piss. So much good beer, so little time. You know how it is."

So I think I better try to buy some time for my buddy to investigate, channeling all the bar drunks I've seen in bouncer confrontations irl & in media to distract him.

Orc, taking out weapon: "There's no place to piss here! Be gone!"

Adventurer: "Your face looks like a place to piss"

Annnnnnnd, this is where things break down. DM shoots me a dirty look and asks me to roll for initiative (aka combat is starting). The entire planned sneaky session goes off rails into ridiculously outmatched combat and one player character (the buddy I was with) dies and we end the session with it looking like it is game over. After the game I ask my partner if she wants to head back home or to mine (which is much closer to the host so often what we did) and she curtly says she needs to head home and leans in and whispers angrily "and don't you ever bring sexual assault into my game again".

I was shocked and it took a lot of talking with friends and my therapist to reaffirm my feeling that while I may have been an asshole and/or bad D&D player here, I did not in fact do what I was accused of. I was the least experienced D&D player of the group and may be the asshole for making people uncomfortable or ruining the game by:

1. Not talking over my plan in more detail with the group beforehand
2. Getting even vaguely close to an off-limits topic
3. Not pausing when things felt like they were getting out of hand and asking outside of the game if something was wrong

I feel that the DM should have also stopped things, brought me aside and explained how she felt before taking everything off rails. I just thought this was some of that classic D&D chaos I had heard the game is so famously fun due to. She expressed how mad to me the rest of the group was that I ruined the game and got characters killed that they had invested so much into. We broke up shortly after that and the D&D group broke up shortly after we did.

We'd also had a previous session where we had to sneak small items into a private party and when we found out we couldn't use magic, I had suggested "well there's always the ol' prison method", which elicited laughs (and some follow up discussion) from the group, but the DM cut off and talked to me privately about after. So this could have been strike 2. But in a game where witches are abducting and eating children among other things, and all participants are in their 20's and 30's and met through a kink community and discuss kinky/sexual topics outside of the game, I didn't feel either comment was off color.

So AITA? Did I cross a line here? Is my definition of SA wrong?