For context, my middle sister IS invited to the wedding, just not as a bridesmaid.

My fiancé and I are doing a small bridal and grooms party with three representatives from three areas of our lives. He does not have any siblings, so we chose to represent family with his cousin and my oldest sister (I’m the youngest). My oldest* sister is also the glue to the siblings and she works very hard to keep the family together; she’s been supportive to everyone, had come to visit my FH and I (we live many states away), and she’s helping me plan the wedding. I want to honor that.

But when I told her (the middle one) she wouldn’t be a bridesmaid, she uninvited herself and said I really hurt her. I think it’s okay to be hurt, but not enough to make a big scene and not come. Now my family is saying I should make her a bridesmaid just to appease her, but that’s not what I’m doing.

If we wanted an assortment of family and friends for the parties then we would’ve done that. But that’s not the goal, so AITAH?