I (F, 22) was in a long-term relationship with my ex (M, 23) from 10th grade to 2nd year college. The breakup was amicable. One of those “we’re growing in different directions” type of things. It was still painful, but it felt like the right decision.

One of the hardest parts was letting go of his family, especially his mom, whom I’ll call Tita. We got very close during the relationship, even though we had different personalities (she’s outgoing and active, I’m reserved and quiet), we connected deeply over shared values. She became a comforting and stable presence in my life when things at home weren’t.

Even after the breakup, we still hung out every Saturday like usual, like trying new restaurants, doing activities, etc. My ex knew and never expressed being weirded out by it.

But when he started dating someone new last year, that changed. Tita invited me to her 50th birthday party. A big family celebration. I hesitated but she insisted I come, saying it would be huge and my ex and I probably wouldn’t even bump into each other.

Well… I did end up bumping into him. Right as he was introducing his new girlfriend to his mom. It was super awkward. His mom and I were in the middle of a loud conversation, and the vibe got tense. His mom greeted the new GF politely but was noticeably more focused on me the rest of the night. I even tried to leave early to avoid making things weirder, but she kept gently insisting I stay—"It's my birthday!" and all.

After the party, my ex texted me saying I was disrespectful for coming. That even though he knew I was invited, he assumed I’d have the “decency not to show up.” He said his GF was upset no one made her feel welcome and that it led to a big fight between them.

I felt bad. I didn’t know she’d be introduced that night, and I really didn’t mean to overshadow anything. I told Tita maybe I should stop attending family events and we agreed to hang out less to avoid drama.

But when his GF found out we still did our weekly hangouts, she threatened to break up with him. He told his mom to stop seeing me altogether, which sparked a fight between them. Some family members said our friendship was weird, others defended it. Eventually, I told Tita we should pause our hangouts until it “wasn’t weird anymore.” She understood, and we only messaged each other on birthdays and holidays after that.

Fast forward to a few days ago, I randomly ran into Tita at the mall while I was running a small errand and so was she. It was like there was never even a pause in our relationship and we ended up spending the whole day together: lunch, museum, movie, early dinner. It was lovely and felt like reconnecting with an old friend. I even shared that I was seeing someone new, and she was really supportive.

Then came the fallout. Tita posted a story of our hangout, and my ex saw it. He messaged me again, calling me weird, disrespectful, and even accused me of still wanting him back because I “won’t leave his mom alone.” It was honestly really hurtful, especially since her knew why and how I got close to his mom. I explained that I’m in a new relationship, I have no interest in him, and Tita is just someone I care about deeply.

I’ve also learned that even after all this time, his girlfriend and his mom never got close, and our hangout story sparked another huge fight between them.

So… AITA for continuing a friendship with my ex’s mom—even after years have passed, I’m in a new relationship, and it was just the two of us spending time together?