I have a tattoo artist who I really enjoy who has done 2 wonderful tattoos on me. Because my friend liked them so much, she asked if I could make an appointment for her to get a tattoo with my artist as well. We set a date a couple months ago and were all set to both get tattoos done.

Our appointments are in a little more than 2 weeks but my tattoo artist reached out today and explained that she had a family emergency and is struggling with her mental health so has decided to take some time off for herself. She was very apologetic and right away offered other dates or a refund. As someone who also struggles with mental health, I totally understood and was fine with rescheduling. I reached out to my friend to let her know what was going on and she now refuses to go to this artist. The thing that really gets me is her reasoning: She said she doesn’t want someone with mental health issues doing her tattoo.

I need to take a moment here to explain that my friend (32) has some of the worst mental health issues I have ever seen in a person. She has struggled with everything from depression to manic attacks to drastic bipolar episodes. She has not held a full time job ever in her life and has not worked a job in general since her first year of college (10+ years ago). If anyone could understand mental health, I would think it would be her.

She said she doesn’t want someone who is having mental health issues and can’t keep an appointment giving her a tattoo. I pointed out that the artist being up front about what was going on, reaching out right away to reschedule, and choosing to step back when she knows she won’t be doing her best work is very mature and professional. My friend countered asking if I wanted a doctor to reschedule a surgery because of mental health issues, and if I would trust them to work on me.

I believe that mental health does not define a person. Do I want someone like my friend, who has extreme mental issues, working on me? No, of course not. Would I trust someone who is temporarily stepping back and taking time to themselves so they can come back stronger and in a better headspace? Yes, absolutely. In my opinion, it doesn’t matter what job you’re in, everyone can use some time to themselves. Recognizing that your mental health is on a decline and taking a step back to refocus seems like a very healthy and mature thing to do; no matter if you’re a part time cashier or a celebrated doctor.

I guess mostly I’m just disappointed in my friend for taking this stance and I don’t at all agree with their reasoning. I’ve told them as such but did let them know that it’s their choice. I obviously am not going to force them in any way to go through with the appointment if they don’t feel comfortable with it. Just as two people who also struggle deeply with mental health, it seems hypocritical to me and rubs me the complete wrong way. AITA for feeling this way and sticking up for my tattoo artist?